


Beautifully Broken

by a1_kitkat



Category: Westlife
Genre: Denial, Domestic Violence, Hurt!Shane, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous!Nicky, M/M, Nicky loves Shane, One-Sided Attraction, Physical Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Shnicky - Freeform, Suspicious!Nicky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-23
Updated: 2015-01-23
Packaged: 2018-03-08 18:07:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 37,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3218465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a1_kitkat/pseuds/a1_kitkat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nicky tries to come to grips with his feelings for Shane as he discovers his best friend is in an abusive relationship.<br/>Shane refuses to acknowledge his predicament but Nicky is determined to help his friend, with or without his help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Shane closed his eyes and held back a sigh of relief as he finished reading the text message he’d just received. He slipped his phone back into his pocket then leaned back in the seat. The door opened and Nicky bounded into the dressing room.

“Only ten minutes to go” the blonde stated.  
“Yup” Shane agreed.  
“Excited?”  
“I guess”  
“Are you still meeting Declan for a drink later?”  
“Uh, no… He just cancelled”  
“Oh, well… Why don’t you come out with me, Mark and Ki?”  
“Actually, I’m kinda tired. Think I’ll just go back to the hotel and have an early night”  
“Party pooper”

Shane smiled then stood up and made his way into the bathroom. Nicky watched him go but didn’t say anything further. The reason he’d asked Shane to join him was simple. He missed him. The younger boy had been spending a lot of time with an old friend and less time with Nicky, Mark and Kian. While the three of them suspected something was going on between Shane and Declan, none of them had ever asked and the brunette had never offered any confirmation.

Over the past few months, Shane had become distant and Nicky feared he was losing him. He wanted to talk to the younger boy but wasn’t sure how to. He knew he wouldn’t feel right telling Shane the truth. That he was jealous of the amount of time he spent with Declan. Nicky often wondered how to raise the subject with his friend but didn’t want to come out and ask Shane if he was gay.  
Realistically, what exactly could he say? ‘Hey Shane, I was just wondering if you’re gay and fucking Declan, coz if you are can you stop with him and start fucking me?’

Nicky immediately pushed that thought aside. As much as he lusted after the brunette, a part of him knew that it could never be anything more than that. He’d seen Shane with Declan and how happy the older boy made Shane. Nicky couldn’t interfere with something like that. As much as he wanted Shane for himself, he wanted his friend to be happy too.

*-*-*-*-*-*

 

Shane closed the door to his room, thankful the show was over and he could finally relax. He walked over to the bed and collapsed on top of the duvet. He’d not seen Declan for almost two weeks and the older boy had threatened… Promised to stop by and see him. The text he’d received earlier was from Declan, stating he wouldn’t be able to stop by tonight.  
After he’d read the message and Nicky had invited him out, he’d wanted to accept Nicky’s invitation. He wanted to go out and enjoy the night but he really was tired. He was tired of crying himself to sleep at night; too scared to fall asleep in case Declan arrived during the night and woke him.

He climbed off the bed and made his way into the bathroom. He needed a shower then he was going to curl up in front of the TV. Shane stopped in front of the mirror and pulled his shirt off. He paused and examined the bruise on his chest. Nicky had seen it by accident a few days ago and Shane had quickly covered… Explaining how he’d fallen off his horse. His friend seemed to have believed him. God, he’d wanted to tell Nicky the truth but he’d felt too ashamed. How could he have let this happen?  
“How did you get yourself into this?” Shane asked his reflection.

He pushed these thoughts aside, shed the rest of his clothes and climbed into the shower. He wasn’t sure how long he stayed in there but each passing second felt good. The water worked wonders on his stiff, sore body. Somehow, he reluctantly managed to make himself turn the water off. Shane dried himself off then pulled on a pair of sweat pants and an old T-shirt that once belonged to Nicky but had somehow made its way into Shane’s suitcase.

The brunette had just sat down when he heard someone knock. He climbed to his feet, crossed the room and opened the door. Declan was standing in the hall, a bag of take out in one hand and a single red rose in the other.

“Surprise” Declan grinned at him.  
“I… Dec… I thought you weren’t coming tonight” Shane stammered.  
“I wanted to surprise you”  
“Uh… Come in”

Shane stepped aside and allowed the older boy to enter the room. He glanced over at the couch, already pining for his evening in in-front of the television. Declan moved into the room and handed the rose to Shane. The younger boy accepted it then placed a thankful kiss on his boyfriend’s cheek.

“I hope you’re not too tired from the concert” Declan said to him.  
“Well, I am… a little” Shane confessed. “Nicky asked me out for drinks but I said no, I’d planned on having an early night but… Now that you’re here… I can stay up all night”  
Shane had seen the way the older boy had flinched when he’d mentioned Nicky.  
“Nicky asked you out, did he?” Declan asked.  
“For a drink… With Kian and Mark”  
“A little double date, eh?”  
“What? No… We’re all just friends. You know that”  
“Do I? How do I know what you get up to when I‘m not here to keep an eye on you?”  
“Dec, no. I don’t ‘get up’ to anything. I swear”

“Really Shay?” Declan moved towards the younger boy. He raised his hand and, in one swift movement, backhanded the singer. “Really?”  
“I swear” Shane insisted.  
“You know how much I love you” Dec continued. “You know how hurt I get when I think of you with someone else”  
“There is no one else, honest” Shane moved in and slid his arms around the older boy’s waist. “I love you… And only you”  
“Say it again”  
“I love you” Shane buried his face in Declan’s chest.  
“Show me” Declan whispered. “Show me how much you love me”

*-*-*-*-*-

Nicky made his way down the empty hall; he stopped and checked his watch. By his standards, it was still reasonably early so the blonde was hopeful Shane was still awake. The blonde knew his friend’s plans for the night had fallen through and had resolved to make Shane join him for at least one drink with Kian and Mark.

The singer continued down the hall. He heard a shout and stopped in his tracks. He looked around and heard another shout, followed by the sound of breaking glass. Nicky felt a nervous shiver slip down his spine but shook it off. He walked towards Shane’s room and stopped at the door. He raised his hand to knock then changed his mind. Nicky reached into his pocket and located the key to his friend’s room. The noises seemed to have stopped and the blonde wondered where it had come from. Some hotel guests must have been having a lovers tiff, Nicky was glad not to be involved. Trying not to think about it, Nicky resumed his task and quietly pushed the door open.

For a moment, he was completely frozen in place. The image before him was one he knew he’d never forget. All suspicions he’d had about Shane’s relationship with Declan were blown clear out the window. Clearly he’d been right about one thing but way off on all other counts.

“Please Dec” Nicky heard Shane whimper.

The blonde shook his head but the image was still there. It was real. His band mate and best friend was being held against his will. His entire body was shaking in fear. Nicky’s voice had vacated his body so he couldn’t shout for Declan to stop what he was doing.  
The older boy looked almost deranged; His hands appeared to be everywhere on Shane’s naked body, one was on the brunette’s throat and the other firmly closed over one of Shane’s wrists. Shane released a small sob and Nicky felt sick to his stomach as he realized ‘exactly’ what Declan was doing to his friend.

The younger boy’s eyes were closed and Dec appeared too engrossed in his task that neither one of them had noticed Nicky’s arrival.  
“No, please stop” Shane cried. “You’re hurting me”  
“I’m not a fool Shane; I’ve seen the way he looks at you… Like he’s going to claim you for himself” Declan growled as he forcibly thrust inside the younger boy. “Is that what’s going on here? Are you fucking Nicky behind my back?”

He didn’t give Shane time to answer, he simply continued. “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, baby. You’re mine. No one else is allowed to touch you, to fuck you… I told you I would punish you if you so much as looked at another man… And I’ve seen the way you look at him”  
“No” Shane sobbed. “I swear, I’ve never-“  
“Well, maybe you haven’t fucked him but you look at him like you want to. But that’s not going to happen, is it? You’re mine, Shane!”

The brunette attempted to break free of Declan’s grasp but the older boy was too strong for him. Declan did, however, relinquish his hold on the younger boy’s throat. As Shane gasped for air, Nicky heard him pleading once more.  
“Please, Dec. that’s not true” Shane gasped. “Please stop, you… You’re hurting me…”  
Declan growled as he thrust his hips, forcing himself further inside Shane. Tears spilled down the brunette’s cheeks as he continued to plead. “Please, can’t we go to bed? I… I’ll suck you off or… or you… you can tie me up… You love that, do…don’t you? Anything you want, I promise… Just please, stop”

Finally Nicky’s body began to function again as Declan grabbed Shane and slammed his head into the wall.  
“No, you’re mine to do as I please… You’ll do whatever I want you to and you won’t complain. This is what you deserve, you know it. Say it! Say you deserve this!”

“NO!” Nicky screamed, silently cursing himself for taking so long. “What do you think you’re doing?” 

Nicky lunged forward and attempted to pull Declan off Shane. The blonde was no match for the older man but seeing Shane in such pain caused him to lose control. He grabbed Declan by the shoulders and wrenched him away from his friend.

Declan stumbled for a moment. He regained his footing in time to see Shane slinking to the floor. Nicky reached out and caught the brunette in his arms. The older boy glared at the blonde before crossing back to Shane’s side.

“Get away from him” Nicky growled.  
“Back off Nicky” Declan insisted.  
“No! I won’t let you hurt him”  
“You’ve got it all wrong, Nicky” Declan insisted. “Tell him Shane”

The brunette stared at his boyfriend; he took several deep breaths, painfully aware of Nicky’s hands on his naked body. Declan met his eyes and nodded to him.  
“We were just messing about” Dec said, his eyes never leaving Shane’s.  
“Messing about?” Nicky asked. “You… You were raping him!”

“No… He… He wasn’t” Shane stammered. He broke away from Nicky and the older boy looked down at him in shock. “We… we were just playing around and… I was acting… We were… Were role playing”  
“Role playing?”

Shane moved away from Nicky and towards Declan. The older boy wrapped his arms around Shane as the brunette buried his face in his boyfriend’s chest. Declan reached up and cupped the back of Shane’s neck. He leaned down and placed a kiss on Shane’s lips.  
“Yeah, role playing” Dec explained. “You’ve never tried it?”  
“No” Nicky insisted, obviously not convinced.  
With his back to Nicky, Shane took another deep breath then looked into Declan’s eyes as he spoke.  
“It’s okay. Nicky, honestly… I was just… Pretending… Dec would never hurt me”  
“Of course I wouldn’t. Nicky, Shane means the world to me. I could never do such a thing to him”

Declan placed another kiss to Shane’s lips and felt the younger boy trembling in his arms. He broke the embrace and looked over at Nicky. The blonde was still standing by the wall, his arms folded across his chest with a hard look on his face.  
He knew what to do but was unsure if it was such a good idea. He looked at Shane and kissed his forehead.

“I guess I should go” Declan whispered.  
“No, stay” Shane pleaded. “Please?”  
“I really should go, Shay. You can explain to Nicky because he’s not going to listen to me. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”  
“Dec, no”  
“Its okay” he kissed Shane once more. “I’ll be back tomorrow… I love you”  
“I love you too”  
“Be good, make Nicky understand… Tell him he’s got nothing to be worried about. That you’re happy with me. You are happy with me, aren’t you?”  
“Of… of course”  
“You better get dressed… I don’t want you catching a cold”  
Shane nodded.

Declan released the brunette and looked over at Nicky. The blonde was still glaring at him.  
“I know what you think you saw but you’re wrong” Dec explained.  
“Just go!” Nicky hissed.  
The older boy nodded then he headed towards the door. Shane followed close behind. As Dec reached for the door knob Shane took hold of his hand.  
“I’m sorry” Shane whispered. “I don’t know how he got in here. Please don’t be mad”  
“I’m not mad… Just concerned… He’s going to try to manipulate you but you’re smarted than that. You love me and I know you’ll do anything for me… Just as I would for you. Now make sure you’re convincing’  
“I… I will. I promise”  
They shared one last kiss before Declan slipped out the door. Shane closed it behind him then slowly turned around to look at Nicky.

The blonde was still staring at him. Shane was suddenly aware of the fact that he was standing completely naked in front of his band mate and he walked over to the couch. He located his pants and hastily pulled them on. Nicky had at least turned away to give Shane some ‘privacy’.

“It’s… I’m… You can turn around now” Shane stated.  
Nicky turned and looked at Shane. He slowly approached his friend, almost afraid to get too close.  
“Shane, what the hell was that? Nicky asked his voice gentle despite the harsh question.  
“It was nothing” Shane insisted, refusing to look at his friend.  
“I know what I saw”  
“No, you don’t. He wasn’t hurting me… He likes to think he is”  
“What?”  
“Look, I’m sorry I never told you what was really going on between us but I thought you knew”  
“Shay, I assumed you were sleeping with him but… This… I mean… ravishment?”  
“I… I understand that not everyone’s into stuff like that”

Nicky moved ever closer so all that remained between them was the coffee table.  
“Shay, I know what I saw” he said once more. “I saw the look on your face… you can’t fake fear like that”  
“How would you know?” Shane snapped.  
“Shane-”  
“No, this is none of your business Nicky. I hope in future you don’t walk in on us again”

Shane stormed past Nicky and into the bathroom. He slammed the door shut then locked it. Unsure of what to do now, he turned the shower on and sank to the floor. Finally able to give in to his fears, he allowed the tears to fall. Hoping the sound of running water would hide his sobs from his band mate.  
He’d wanted to tell Nicky the truth but he’d seen the look on the older boy’s face. The shock and revulsion at what was happening. How could he possibly explain that he’d allowed it to happen? He’d almost felt relieved that Nicky had come to his rescue but everything was different now. He couldn’t let his friend find out the truth, rape fantasy may not have been the best cover but it was all he could say. Shane had seen the way Declan had looked at him; there had been nothing else to say.  
Nicky may be disgusted, thinking something like that turned Shane on. But, he reasoned, it was better than the truth. There was no way he would ever let Nicky learn the truth. His friend didn’t need to know just how weak and pathetic he was. Not now, not ever.


	2. Chapter 2

Declan reached the hotel lobby and stopped just outside the bar. He checked his watch and wondered if Kian and Mark would still be inside. The older boy theorized that Shane would keep Nicky occupied for some time, as the blonde singer tried to extract the truth from Shane. Declan held back a small smile. He knew Shane wouldn’t tell his band mate the truth, admitting the truth would mean admitting he was weak and that was something Shane would never be able to do.

He straightened his shirt and walked into the bar. In the far corner he spotted his two friends. He walked over to the bar, ordered three drinks then took them over to the table. Kian and Mark were surprised to see him but greeted him enthusiastically.

“Dec, we weren’t expecting to see you tonight” Mark greeted him.  
“I know” he replied. “Drinks?”  
He placed their drinks on the table and pulled up a chair.  
“Listen, I can’t stay too long but I really need to talk to you about something” he lowered his voice. “Something rather private”  
“What is it?” Kian asked.  
“Yeah, shoot” Mark added.

“Well, I stopped by to surprise Shane” Declan explained. “I don’t know exactly what he’s told you about me and him”  
“Nothing” Kian spoke up. “But we’re not idiots… We figured out there was a little something more going on there”  
“Yeah, he said he was going to tell you when the time was right but it never seemed to be… Then the longer it went on, it didn’t seem worth saying anything because he figured you’d figured it out for yourselves”  
“So what’s the problem? The private thing?” Mark asked.

Declan cast an uneasy eye around the room, wanting to make sure no one could over hear them.  
“Well” he picked up his drink and swirled it in his hand. His unease was apparent to his friends but both of them remained silent. “I sent Shane a text, saying I wouldn’t be seeing him tonight… Coz I wanted to surprise him… I turned up at his room with a late dinner and we ate in front of the TV”  
He trailed off then took a sip of his drink. Mark and Kian exchanged a look. They’d never seen Declan so nervous before. “Anyway, after we ate… We started… Well… fooling around”  
“Making out?” Kian asked.  
“It started that way… Shane and I have been…”  
“Intimate?” Mark suggested.

“Yeah, intimate for some time now and… Well, we started to have a little more fun by being a bit adventurous…” he placed his drink down on the table and lowered his voice even more. “You lads have known me a long time…. You know I would never do anything to hurt Shane, right?”  
“Was there some kind of… Accident involved?” Kian asked.  
“An embarrassing one?” Mark asked.

Declan sighed and averted his eyes. “We were acting out a…” he lowered his voice to barely a whisper “a rape fantasy” he hurried to explain. “And your band mate, Nicky, walked in and saw us”  
“He what?” Kian gasped.  
“But now he thinks” Declan continued. “He thinks it was real… That I was… Was…” he broke off as tears rolled down his cheeks. Mark quickly reached out and placed his hand on his friend’s arm.  
“That’s just silly… Nicky wouldn’t really-“ Mark began.  
“He was practically livid” Dec explained. “He pulled me away from Shane and told me to leave. We tried to explain but he wouldn’t believe us…”  
“Well, Nicky’s always been rather… close… To Shane”  
“Yeah, I know… That’s why I didn’t think he’d listen to me, so I left… Maybe that wasn’t the best thing to do”  
“It probably was” Mark continued. “Shane would have a better chance of explaining to Nicky without you there, Nicky would be too distracted otherwise”

“I understand that he cares for Shane” Declan stated. “But how can I make him see that I would never hurt the man I love?”  
“Don’t take it too harshly” Kian reasoned. “It’s not-”  
Mark elbowed Kian, attempting to silence him.  
“No, don’t” Mark said.  
“But I-”  
“No”

“What’s wrong?” Dec asked. “What is it?”  
The two singers exchanged a look. Mark was the first to give in.  
“Listen, you trust us enough to tell us the truth so we’ll give you the same courtesy” Mark looked slightly uneasy, knowing he was about to betray Nicky. “I… We… Think Nicky jumped to the worst conclusion because he’s jealous”  
“Jealous? Of what?” Declan gasped.  
“God, I really shouldn’t… Nicky… He’s-”  
“He’s in love with Shane” Kian finished. “But it’s okay! He… He’s never going to say anything to him, not while he’s with you… And he’s happy with you”

Declan took a long swig from his drink.  
“It’s okay?” Dec asked. “You’re telling me that it’s okay for Nicky to be in love with my boyfriend?”  
“Dec, seriously” Mark explained. “Nicky just wants Shane to be happy… So as long as he’s happy with you, you’ve got nothing to worry about. But we’ll keep an eye on him… Just in case”  
“You did the right thing, telling us what happened” Kian said. “Nicky’s not going to let that go too quickly but we’ll make sure he doesn’t interfere”  
“Thanks lads”

Declan leaned back in his seat and picked up his glass. The conversation shifted and they started reminiscing on old times. The older boy managed to relax, safe in the knowledge that he’d initiated damage control before Nicky could cause any trouble.  
He hated having to leave Shane but it was too risky to stay. He’d come back in the morning when Nicky will have started believing Shane’s lie. He wasn’t overly worried about losing Shane over this. Even if Nicky tried to keep them apart, Shane would never leave him… He’d spent the past four months making sure of it.

*-*

Shane stirred and opened his eyes. He stared at the clock beside the bed and decided to get up before the alarm. The brunette climbed out of the bed and started towards the bathroom. Remembering the events from the previous night, he stopped and looked over at the couch. Nicky was fast asleep.  
Shane had spent a considerable amount of time in the bathroom after Declan’s departure. By the time he’d emerged, Nicky had fallen asleep on the couch. He’d not been brave enough to wake him for fear of further questioning. Suddenly he realized Nicky had to leave. He didn’t know what time Declan would be arriving and the last thing he wanted was for Nicky to still be in his room when Dec did turn up.

“Nicky?” Shane called. He approached the sleeping blonde and gently nudged him. Nicky stirred and Shane tried once more to rouse him.  
“Nicky? Wake up” he insisted. The blonde’s eyes slowly opened and Nicky stifled a yawn.  
“Morning Shay” Nicky greeted him.  
“You have to go” Shane said.  
“But I’m barely awake… And we still need to talk”  
“Nicky please? There’s nothing to talk about… And Dec could be here any second. You can’t be here when he gets here”  
“Why not? What’s going on with you two?”  
“Do I have to spell it out for you? Dec’s my boyfriend Nicky… And it won’t look good if he finds you in here”  
“We’re friends Shane… We crash in each other’s rooms all the time. What will he do to you if he finds me here?”  
“I don’t kn…. Nothing! I just… I don’t want him to get the wrong idea… Now, please go!” 

Shane grabbed Nicky’s arm and pulled him off the couch, hastily leading him towards the door.  
“Shay, we will talk about this” Nicky insisted.  
“I swear Nicky, there’s nothing to talk about”  
“You’re not fooling me, Shane… I know what I saw last night”  
“What you thought you saw. I know it looked bad but everything’s fine Nicky. Don’t you trust me?”  
“You, yes… Him? No”  
“I promise you Nicky. You have nothing to worry about. I’m fine… And… It’s none of your business”  
“But-”

Shane opened the door and prodded the blonde into the hall. Nicky turned to say something but Shane closed the door in his face. The older boy stood, dumbfounded, for a few moments. ‘This isn’t over’ he told himself before making his way down the hall and knocking on the door to Mark’s room.

*-*

Shane was buttoning his shirt when there was a knock at the door. He hurried across the room and opened the door. Declan was waiting out in the hall, in his arms was a dozen roses. The older boy was smiling and Shane returned his greeting. He peered around the hall and stepped aside, allowing Declan entry into his room.  
Dec handed the roses to Shane before leaning down and bringing their lips together in a gentle kiss.

“They’re beautiful, Dec” Shane stated. “Thank you”  
“I wanted to give you something nice… To make up for what happened last night” he explained.  
“It’s not necessary, honest… But I appreciate it” the brunette smiled.

“So…” Declan began. “How long did it take you to explain to Nicky?”  
Shane turned away from his boyfriend, searching for a distraction as he bit his bottom lip. He wasn’t sure how the older boy would take what he had to say.  
“I… I didn’t really say anything to him” Shane confessed. “I knew he wouldn’t listen and I didn’t want to sound like a broken record”  
“Shane-”

The brunette put the roses down on the table then made his way over to Declan. He wrapped his arms around the older boy and buried his face in his neck. Shane could feel the tension growing in his boyfriend’s body.

“I’m sorry, really” Shane gushed. “I thought it would be best not to say anything… That if I went on and on, he wouldn’t really believe me. We told him the… The truth… If he doesn’t believe me then it’s his problem, not ours” Shane quickly kissed Declan’s neck, his cheek then his lips. “Please believe me, Dec. I just wanted him to drop it”  
“How long did he stay?”  
Shane closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “All night”

Declan had already taken Shane into his arms but the brunette’s response made him tighten his embrace. Shane’s body began to tremble. “He slept on the couch! After you left, I went to the bathroom and I… I was in there for a while, I thought if I could plan out exactly what to say then I wouldn’t have to think on my feet… But when I came out, he’d fallen asleep”  
“So you left him there?”  
“If I’d woken him up, he would’ve wanted to talk about it… And I didn’t want to”  
“And this morning? What happened then?”  
“I… I woke him up, a few minutes ago and told him he had to leave. He tried questioning me again and I told him to drop it and that… That what you and I do is none of his business”  
“Damned straight it’s not”

Shane placed another kiss to Dec’s neck.   
“Please, forgive me for not doing as you asked” he said.  
“I’m sure you can make it up to me… Somehow” Declan replied. The brunette nodded.  
“Anything… Just, name it”

Declan leaned forward and captured Shane’s mouth with his own. He tightened his wavering hold on the younger boy while his probing tongue explored Shane’s mouth.   
Without him even realizing, Dec scooped Shane off the ground and carried him over to the bed. Once he broke the kiss, he pushed the singer down onto the mattress.  
“Right now?” Shane asked the older boy. “What… What about breakfast?”  
“We can eat once I’m satisfied” Dec explained. Shane nervously licked his lips as Declan began to unzip his own jeans. “You know what you have to do…” Shane slowly nodded in understanding.   
“Yes” Shane replied.  
“Good boy” Declan smiled as Shane reached out and touched his boxer-covered hardness. “That’s it… Now make me come”

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Nicky knocked on the door to Mark’s room. He waited several moments but nothing happened. Losing patience, he pounded on the door again. A few more minutes passed before the door opened. Mark wiped the sleep from his eyes as he greeted Nicky. The older boy pushed past him and into the room.

“Oh good” Nicky began once he spotted Kian. “Glad you’re here”  
“Nicky?” Kian asked. “What are you doing here?”  
“Weren’t you wearing that last night?” Mark added.  
“Lads, we need to talk. It’s important”  
Kian sat up straighter as Mark walked over to his bed and sat down.  
“What’s so important that it can’t wait until breakfast?” Mark asked.  
“Well…” Nicky trailed off.

The blonde slowly began to pace around the room. He’d not thought out what he was going to say. All that had mattered was getting to his friends and telling them what he knew. Now he was faced with the problem of telling them something awful and hoping they believed him. He stopped and looked at each of them in turn. Making eye contact with his band mates only made his task more difficult. He averted his eyes and therefore didn’t see the look that passed between Kian and Mark.

“I wish what I had to say wasn’t true” Nicky began. “And that there was an easy way to say it but… It’s about Shane… And Dec”  
When he glanced up he saw Mark and Kian looking at each other. A silent exchange was occurring between them. Kian was nodding his head.  
“Lads? Are you even listening to me?” Nicky asked them.  
“Nicky,” Mark began. “If it’s about what you saw, we already know”

The blonde’s face paled and he felt his stomach drop.  
“You already know?” Nicky stammered. “And you didn’t… You haven’t tried to…. What?”  
“We know what happened last night” Kian continued. “Dec told us you walked in on them playing a… Sex game”  
“It was NOT a game” the blonde insisted. “I swear, there was no ‘pretending’ there”  
“Nix-” Mark started.  
“No, what exactly did he say to you?”  
“The truth… That you walked in and saw something you shouldn’t have… And that you took it the wrong way”  
“I… took it… the…” Nicky trailed off, anger building inside. “NO! Declan wasn’t ‘playing’… I know what I saw! He was raping him. Shane was in tears and begging for him to stop… I saw the pain and fear in Shane’s eyes… You can’t fake that”  
“Evidently, Shane can”  
“No! Why are you defending this? Why won’t you believe me?”

“Do you really think we want to believe Shane’s being… Abused… By someone we’ve known for years?” Mark stated.  
“We know Declan,” Kian explained. “He would never do something like that”  
“But why would I lie about something like this?” Nicky pleaded. “Shane’s in trouble, he needs our help”  
“Nicky” Kian sighed. “If Shane was in trouble, don’t you think we would know about it? We know you wouldn’t lie about something this serious, okay? We… We believe that you believe what you saw but that… What you saw wasn’t really real”  
“So you’re just going to ignore it? Pretend nothing’s wrong?”  
“Nothing is wrong… It was a game, Nicky… Let it go”  
“No!” Nicky insisted. “I won’t! Shane needs our help and I’m going to make sure he gets it!”

The blonde turned on his heel and marched to the door. Neither one of his friends attempted to stop him. Nicky opened the door and walked out into the hall, the door swung closed behind him. For a moment, neither Kian nor Mark said anything. They both stared at the closed door, thinking over all they’d been told.

“He was pretty adamant” Kian said.  
“Dec thought he would be” Mark explained.  
“Are we doing the right thing here? We don’t know which one of them is telling the truth… Who should we believe?”  
“We’ve known Declan a long time… Shane’s known him even longer, thanks to Liam… But Nicky’s our friend too”  
“I can’t believe they’re both lying but I don’t want to believe Dec’s hurting Shane either”  
“It is possible Nicky got the wrong impression… He can get carried away when things don’t go his way”  
“And we both know how he feels about Shane”

“Maybe we should just… ask Shane” Mark stated.  
“We can’t do that” Kian replied.  
“Why not?”  
“Put yourself in his place… He’s probably mortified that Nicky saw what he did and just wants the whole thing forgotten… If we go and ask him about it, then he’s going to know we’ve all been talking about it”  
“But what if he really is in trouble?”  
“If Shane needed our help, he would ask for it”


	3. Chapter 3

Kian and Mark were in the hotel restaurant, eating breakfast, when Shane and Declan joined them. The two singers were occupying a table with six seats and the new arrivals sat down beside them. Declan settled next to Mark while Shane pulled out the chair beside Kian. A waiter appeared and took their orders before disappearing. Morning pleasantries were exchanged but not much else.  
Mark and Kian kept having silent exchanges over their coffee cups while Shane and Declan pretended not to notice. Eventually the older boy broke the silence.

“Let’s talk about the elephant in the room and get it over with, yeah?” Dec began.  
Shane frowned at his boyfriend and his two band mates stopped trying to hide their conversation.  
“Shay, I told them what happened last night” Declan confessed. The younger boy’s face began to flush in embarrassment and Dec, subtly reached over and squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry Shay but I had to… I wasn’t trying to embarrass you, honest… I just… I was afraid Nicky would try telling lies to them…”  
“Actually…” Mark spoke up. “He came and saw us this morning…”  
“Told us what happened…” Kian added. “Said what you thought he would”  
“He seemed pretty upset that we didn’t believe him”  
“Can we please just forget about it?” Shane asked. “I… I don’t want to talk about it”

The waiter appeared with Shane and Declan’s meals and they immediately stopped talking. Once he deposited the food on the table and walked away, Mark spoke again.  
“Its okay, Shane… There’s no shame in experimenting…”  
“You just need to be more careful…” Kian added.  
“I didn’t know Nicky had a key!” Shane hissed.  
“Well, for future we know not to let him have one” Declan said.

Shane looked up and, over Declan’s shoulder, he saw Nicky enter the restaurant. The blonde stopped just inside the door, his eyes searching out Shane’s. For a moment, the older boy just stood there then he turned on his heel and left. Shane watched him go, feeling both relief and dread. Luckily, Kian hadn’t seen their band mate and Mark and Declan had had their backs to the door.  
The sight of Nicky had turned Shane off his food. He hated that Nicky now knew his ‘dirty little secret’. His friend was very perceptive and persistent. He knew the older boy wouldn’t let something like this go and that scared Shane.

He’d managed to buy himself some time but how much he wasn’t sure. A part of him wanted, desperately, to tell Nicky the truth but he knew he couldn’t do that. He remembered the look of revulsion he’d seen on the blonde’s face and he didn’t want to see it again. Shane could almost hear Nicky’s voice in his head, calling him weak and pathetic for allowing such a thing to happen. He belonged to Declan now, and even if he was to leave him… Nicky wouldn’t want him, not after what he’d seen… And Shane’s cover for the incident? The brunette bit his lip and closed his eyes. Why didn’t he just tell Nicky the truth? That he was Declan’s whore?

“Shay?” Declan asked. “Are you okay?”  
Shane opened his eyes and found himself staring into Declan’s olive green orbs. The older boy was looking at him with concern and Shane couldn’t help smiling at him.   
“Yeah, I’m fine” Shane replied. “A little tired, I guess”  
“I shouldn’t have worn you out so early, eh?” Shane’s cheeks flushed again.  
“Had a quickie this morning, did ye?” Kian smirked.  
“I assure you, there was nothing ‘quick’ about it” Dec replied.  
Shane picked up his coffee cup and took a sip to avoid having to say anything.  
“Come on” Mark interrupted. “Perhaps this isn’t the best time to be talking about this?”  
“Is it ever a good time to discuss stuff like this?” Shane asked. The four lads laughed.

Mark checked his watch then looked around the room.  
“Funny Nicky hasn’t come down yet” he stated.  
“Maybe he slept through his alarm?” Declan replied. He caught Shane’s eye but the brunette didn’t speak.  
“No, he was already up…” Kian said. “Remember, Mark told you he came and saw us earlier…”  
“Guess he ate before we got down here” Shane said. He didn’t meet anyone’s eyes, not wanting to tell his friends the truth.

Kian pushed his plate aside and told his friends he’d see them later. The blonde was the first to leave the table and the restaurant. Mark watched him go but remained in his seat.  
“So, what’s going on with you two?” Declan asked Mark.  
“Going on?” Mark replied.  
“Are the two of you… You know?”  
“Dec!” Shane snapped. “That’s none of-“  
Shane was shocked at Declan’s questioning. Mark, however, found it rather amusing and laughed.  
“You think he & I?” Mark continued to laugh. “No, trust me Dec. Nothing doing”  
“But you’re so close”  
“Yeah, we’re friends… That’s all it is and all it ever will be”  
“You sound pretty sure of that” Shane said.  
“Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I want to jump into bed with every lad I’m friends with” Mark replied.  
“That’s good to know” Dec stated, smiling at Shane. “But I know my Shane would never cheat on me”  
Shane returned his boyfriend’s smile then lowered his eyes as he returned to his meal.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Kian knocked on the door to Nicky’s room but received no answer. He waited several moments before knocking again.  
“Nicky, if you’re in there… Open the door” Kian insisted. “I’m not kidding around. Let me in, now!”

The door opened and Kian pushed his way into the room. Nicky was already heading back towards his bed. Kian closed the door behind him then walked over to his friend. Kian stopped just shy of the mattress and looked down at his band mate. Nicky slowly looked up and Kian could see the tears in the older boy’s eyes.  
“Oh Nicky” Kian whispered.  
He climbed onto the bed beside Nicky and pulled the older boy into his arms. Nicky closed his eyes and allowed his tears to fall.

“Its okay, Nicky” Kian whispered. “It’ll all be okay”  
“No, it won’t” Nicky sobbed. “Why don’t you believe me?”

Kian didn’t know what to say in response. Instead he slowly, gently, rubbed Nicky’s back in an attempt to calm his friend. Several minutes passed as Kian debated with himself on what to say to Nicky. It took a while for Nicky’s tears to subside and he slowly pulled away from the younger boy. He wiped his eyes and looked at Kian.

“This is so frustrating” Nicky admitted. “I know what I saw, Kian”  
“What you thought you saw” Kian stated.  
“Shane needs our help”  
“I just had breakfast with him and he’s fine… Embarrassed, of course, but he’s fine”  
“I love him, Ki” Nicky whispered. “I want to help him…”  
“I know you do but if it’s not broke, you can’t fix it”  
“But-”  
“You need to let this go, Nicky. You’ve got no proof and Shane says nothing’s wrong. He’s your friend, you should believe him”  
“So I just pretend none of this happened?”  
“I know you don’t want to hear it but yeah. You saw something you weren’t meant to. Put it aside and forget about it”

Nicky reluctantly nodded his head. Kian reached out and placed his hand on Nicky’s arm.  
“It’ll be okay” Kian said to him. “I know you’re worried but there’s nothing you can do without causing trouble for everyone. Wait until you have proof”  
Nicky looked up and met Kian’s eye.  
“If its true then there’ll be proof” Kian assured him.

The younger boy released his hold on Nicky and stood up. He didn’t speak again until he reached the door. He reached for the handle then stopped and turned around. Nicky was still sitting on the bed, watching him.  
“I hope you don’t snub us again for breakfast tomorrow” Kian stated. He opened the door and stepped out into the hall.

As the door closed behind him, Nicky threw himself down onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. He didn’t understand what Kian was playing at. First he told him that it was all in his head and now he’s saying to wait for proof? The blonde sighed in frustration. He couldn’t just sit back and let this happen. The longer he waited for viable proof, the more damage Declan could be doing to Shane.

He knew it was wrong to skip breakfast but he couldn’t just sit there and watch Shane act like nothing was wrong. During the night, every time he closed his eyes, he’d see the fear and pain in Shane’s eyes. He longed to take the brunette into his arms and make it all go away. It tore at his heart, not knowing how long Shane had been suffering for.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Nicky didn’t let it go but he did take Kian’s advice and didn’t bring up the incident again. Declan was strangely absent during the days that followed. Shane seemed withdrawn and avoided Nicky for several days but he was slowly returning to his usual self.  
Two weeks passed and Nicky watched Shane from afar. He longed to confront the younger boy and demand to be told the truth but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. Instead he stood back and continued to observe his friend. Mark and Kian had vowed not to get involved and did their best to stay out of it. They, too, kept an eye out for any sign that Shane was being mistreated but the brunette never gave anything away.

“Nicky still hasn’t let it go” Kian said to Mark.  
The two singers were in the bar of the hotel, waiting for Declan and Shane to join them. They had invited Nicky to join them but the older boy always refused when Declan was staying with them.  
“He’s worried about Shane” Mark replied.  
“Don’t you think some proof would’ve surfaced by now? It’s been weeks and we’ve all been looking for signs”  
“I just can’t see Dec doing something like that. You’ve seen the way he treats Shane”  
“When they’re with us… Who’s to say what he does when they’re alone?”  
“Come on, Ki… We’ve known Dec for years. Do you really think he’s capable of something like that?”  
“I don’t know!” Kian sighed in frustration.  
They’d been having this same conversation again and again and it always ended the same way. Shane wasn’t offering any information, so it all came down to Nicky’s word against Declan’s.

Kian looked up and saw Shane and Declan entering the bar. They were always very subtle when out in public, Shane being careful to keep his sexuality from the public. Declan approached Kian and Mark while Shane went to the bar to order their drinks.  
“Nicky still not joining us?” Dec asked.  
“Nope” Mark replied before raising his own glass.  
“Is he okay? I mean, he seems to be keeping to himself a lot”  
“He’s staying away from you” Kian stated.  
“What? No way”  
“He’s embarrassed, for the way he acted after he saw the two of you…” Kian trailed off.  
“He’s still going on about that?”  
“Afraid so…” Mark replied.

Shane joined his friends and placed their drinks down on the table. He sat down opposite his boyfriend and immediately started sipping his drink.  
“Listen, I’m just going to come out and say it” Kian said. “We’ve been avoiding it for weeks so let’s just get it over with… Clear the air and put every one’s mind at ease… Dec, are you mistreating Shane?”  
The older boy choked on a mouthful of beer. He put the glass down as he struggled to breathe.  
“Are you serious?” Declan coughed. “I swear I would never do that”  
“Shane?” Kian asked, looking at his band mate.  
“No!” Shane gasped; a horrified expression on his face. “No way… Dec’s never hurt me”  
“Why would you even ask that?” Declan asked.

“Nicky’s convinced that something’s wrong… I…” Kian explained. “We didn’t want to believe him but it’s been weird between all of us for some time now… I just wanted to hear it from your lips, Declan. I shouldn’t have doubted you but Nicky’s been so adamant and he’s not a liar”  
“Well…” Dec paused, thinking over what had just been said. “Okay, I appreciate you not jumping to conclusions… And asking me… Us… Out-right. But I hope you believe me when I say that I love Shane with all my heart and I would never do something to cause him pain”  
Shane smiled at Declan as he blinked back tears.  
“I’m sorry, lads” Mark said. “We never should have doubted you but you have to see it from our side”  
“Of course… And I can totally see where Nicky got the idea from but we told him the truth because we didn’t want something like this to happen. The last thing I want is for you to think I’d do something so horrendous to someone I love”

The four lads all fell silent and for the next few minutes, none of them spoke. It came as a relief when Kian left to buy another round of drinks. Mark stood up and followed him. He stopped his friend before they reached the bar.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Mark scolded him. “What possessed you to do such a… A… I mean, what the hell?”  
“I’m sorry, okay?” Kian hissed. “But how much longer were we going to drag it out? Nicky’s isolated himself and won’t drop this insane idea of Declan being some kind of monster. At least now we know the truth… We heard it with our own ears from both Shane and Dec… Nicky made a mistake and we can tell him so”

*-*

Declan waited until Mark had also left the table before turning to Shane.  
“I thought you said Nicky had dropped the whole thing?” he asked his boyfriend.  
“I… I thought he had” Shane insisted. “He… He hasn’t said a word about it since. I swear!”  
The older boy closed his hand around Shane’s wrist.  
“So where did they get an idea like that?”  
“I don’t… I don’t know” Shane winced as Declan tightened his grip.

As Shane stared into the older boy’s eyes, he felt his heart begin to race. He wanted to pull away, to break his boyfriends hold and tell him it was over. Before he could react, Dec had released his hold. Shane blinked back fresh tears as Kian and Mark rejoined them with a fresh round of drinks.  
Kian noticed a change in Shane and looked at him questioningly. 

“Shane, are you okay?” Kian asked him. Shane slowly nodded his head.  
“Uh, I’m… I’ve actually got a headache” Shane stammered. “I think I’m going to go back to my room”  
“You want me to come with you?” Declan asked him, his voice laced with concern.  
“No” Shane smiled as he stood up. “You stay, finish your drink… I’ll see you in a little while”  
“Okay, I’ll be up soon”  
“Night lads” Shane said to Kian and Mark.

He ignored the drink Kian had placed in front of him and walked away. The three lads all watched him go.  
“What happened?” Mark asked.  
“He was crying” Kian replied.  
“He was upset about what you lads said” Declan told them. “I think he’s hurt by what Nicky thought”  
“I didn’t mean to upset him” Kian stated.  
“I know you didn’t… He’s just very sensitive… Nicky’s always been someone he could count on and finding out that Nicky thinks he’s in an abusive relationship… Of course Shane’s upset”  
“I’m sorry Dec, really! But now we can tell Nicky to get over it”  
“I’m just sorry you lads doubted me”  
“We’re so sorry”  
“I know… It’s okay… And Shane’ll be okay too. I’ll go up and check on him in a few”

Kian raised his glass.  
“To forgiveness?” Kian asked. Declan raised his glass.  
“Forgiveness” Declan smiled.

Mark and Kian exchanged a look of relief. The hard part now was to convince Nicky of the truth.


	4. Chapter 4

Shane was curled up under the duvet when Declan joined him. The older boy didn’t turn on the light but the brunette was still awake. He sat up, reaching for the bedside lamp and rubbing his eyes. Declan stripped off his shirt and kicked off his shoes before approaching the bed. He climbed onto the mattress and reached out for Shane.

“How are you feeling?” Declan asked him.  
“Better, now that you’re here” Shane replied as he nestled himself in Declan’s arms.  
“So your friends think I hurt you”  
“They have wild imaginations”  
“You are happy with me, aren’t you?”  
“Of course… I know you don’t mean it, that sometimes your job gets to you and you’re stressed”  
“I love you” Declan leaned closer and gently kissed Shane’s forehead. The younger boy smiled as his eyes began to droop. “Tired?” Shane nodded, his eyes still closed.  
“Oh”

Shane heard the disappointment in his lover’s voice and opened his eyes. Declan shifted his weight until he was positioned above the younger boy then leaned forward and kissed him. Shane returned the gesture with less enthusiasm than Dec was expecting.  
“It’s still early” Declan whispered in Shane’s ear.  
“It’s been a long day” Shane replied.  
“Exactly, we need to unwind… Have a little fun”

The younger boy raised his hand and gently touched his lover’s cheek. He held the older boys gaze and he thought of exactly what to say.  
“Not tonight” Shane whispered. “Please? I… I’m too tired. I wouldn’t be able to-”  
“You don’t have to do anything…”  
Declan brushed Shane’s hand aside and leaned down to kiss him once more. The brunette shifted and refused to partake in Declan’s kiss. The older boy narrowed his eyes.  
“You… You’re saying no to me?” Dec whispered. Shane nodded his head. “I… I thought you loved me”  
“I do” Shane replied. “But I can’t… Not right now… Tomorrow, I promise”  
“Tomorrow morning?”  
“Set the alarm… We’ll make love before going out for breakfast”

The older boy thought about it for a moment. Shane watched as Dec mulled over the arrangement and let out a mental sigh of relief when his lover agreed.  
As Declan busied himself with setting an alarm, Shane drifted off to sleep. The older boy turned off the light and lay down beside the singer. He wrapped his arms around the younger boy and held his lover close. He’d let Shane win this one but as he thought about what he would do to the brunette in the morning, he couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his lips. He wanted Shane to know how much he meant to him and that no one else would ever love him the way he did.  
He was going to fuck Shane like never before and he was going to love every second of it.

*-*-*-*-*

The following morning, Nicky joined Mark and Kian for breakfast. The two singers relayed their conversation from the previous night, explaining to their friend that he was wrong about Shane and Declan’s relationship. The blonde was shocked that they had been so direct but he still refused to believe them.

“Nicky,” Kian attempted to reason with his friend. “We heard it direct from Declan and Shane”  
“Of course Dec’ll lie about it” Nicky argued, lowering his voice. “If he is hurting Shane, he’s not going to admit it”  
“I’m sorry Nicky but we believe him” Mark explained. “He’s our friend… Has been for years…”  
“And what am I?” Nicky asked.  
“You’re being irrational”  
“You’re letting your own feelings get in the way”  
“I am not!” Nicky shot back.  
“Nicky, we both know how you feel about Shane” Kian stated.  
“That has nothing to do with this!”  
“It does! You’re jealous and are just trying to cause trouble”  
“No” Nicky hissed. “I saw Declan rape Shane… I don’t, for one second, believe they were ‘playing a game’. It was rape and I’ll be damned if you think I’m going to let him get away with it”

Kian reached out and grabbed Nicky’s hand, pressing firmly down on the table. He looked into his friends eyes, silently pleading with him.  
“This is nothing to do with you” he hissed. “Let. It. Go”   
“Did you even stop to think what kind of damage you did last night?” Nicky asked them as he wrenched his hand out from under Kian’s.  
“You don’t ask a rapist if he’s a rapist… You can’t believe what he says; you have to ‘see’ what he does”  
“Nicky-”  
“Where’s Shane?” he asked them. “Have you seen him this morning? Have you spoken to him since your little conversation?”  
“No” Mark admitted. “Shane went up to bed almost straight away… Dec stayed and had another drink with us before joining him”  
“Dec’s heading home for a few days…” Kian added. “They probably wanted to spend the morning together before he left”

Nicky pushed his breakfast aside, no longer hungry. He didn’t even bother to say anything further to his band mates. He simply pushed his chair back, stood up and walked out of the restaurant. Kian and Mark watched him go, neither one trying to stop him.

“He’s still so adamant” Mark said.  
“Declan’s not a liar, neither is Shane” Kian replied.  
“God, if we’re wrong about this…”  
“I know but we’re just gonna have to let it run its course… Nicky can’t hold a grudge forever”

*-*

Nicky knocked on the door to Shane’s room. It wasn’t too early to wake his friend but it took some time for the door to open. When it did, it only opened a fraction and Nicky could only see Declan.

“Nicky,” Dec greeted the younger boy. “Morning”  
“Cut the pleasantries, Dec” Nicky replied. “Why didn’t Shane come down for breakfast?”  
“We had breakfast here, together… I’m going home today and we wanted to be alone”  
“Where is he now? Can I talk to him?”  
“He’s in the shower”  
“I can come in and wait?”  
“No, you can’t”  
“Why not?”  
“I have to leave in an hour… And I’m about to go join him. I don’t want you waiting in the room while we make love in the shower. It’d be too creepy. You understand”  
Declan didn’t give Nicky a chance to reply, he simply closed the door in his face.

The blonde stared at the closed door, wondering if he should knock again. He stepped back and took a deep, calming breath. How could Kian and Mark not see it? Declan was a jerk. Nicky couldn’t understand what Shane saw in him. He cursed the older boy for placing an image of Shane in the shower in his mind. The thought of Declan and Shane together almost caused Nicky’s blood to boil.  
He hated himself for keeping his distance from Shane. The younger boy needed his help. Nicky vowed to talk to Shane before the concert that night. He looked at the door once again then slowly walked away.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Nicky didn’t feel like facing Kian and Mark again. He mostly wanted to stand outside Shane’s room, waiting the moment Declan left. But he feared that would come across as desperate so he left the hotel altogether. The morning passed slowly for him as he wandered aimlessly through random shops. He mentally replayed all his interactions with his band mate from the past few weeks and hated that he could count them on one hand.  
He’d wanted proof that Declan wasn’t the nice lad he pretended to be but hadn’t known how to go about procuring it. Watching from afar hadn’t bore any concrete proof and he’d not wanted to ask Shane outright from fear of alienating the younger boy.

Nicky found himself down by the docks and sat down on a bench, overlooking the water. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, thinking about Shane and about Kian and Mark… What had possessed them to ‘ask’ Declan? His train of thought was broken by his phone ringing. Kian ordered him to get back to the hotel and ready for the concert. Nicky gave in and begrudgingly headed back to the hotel.

*-*-*-*-*-*

The opportunity to talk to Shane didn’t present itself until an hour before the show was due to start. Both he and Nicky found themselves alone in the dressing room after dinner. Shane made minimal small talk and Nicky tried to think of a subtle way to broach the delicate subject.

“So Dec’s gone home then?” Nicky asked.  
“Yeah” Shane replied, not meeting Nicky’s eye. “Just for a couple of days… I’ll see him on Friday in Glasgow”  
“You miss him?”  
“He only left a few hours ago”  
“And… Everything’s going okay?” Nicky stammered. “No more… Interesting games?”

Shane’s checks flushed at the memory. He forced himself to stay strong, remembering the look of shame on Nicky’s face.  
“No, no more games…” Shane replied.  
“I’m really sorry for… Not knocking”  
“You already apologized-”  
“I know”

Nicky moved closer to his friend and sat down on the couch beside him.  
“I just…”   
He reached out to take Shane’s hand then stopped and pulled away.  
“I’m happy for you” Nicky explained. “Dec makes you happy, yeah?” Shane nodded. “I… I’d had no idea that the two of you were… Together… And, finding out like that was a shock”  
“No kidding”  
“I should have said this to you then but… I was in shock. I really thought he was… Was… Mistreating you… And I was, obviously, wrong. I’m sorry I didn’t trust your word, Shay. And I’m happy you found someone who loves you so”  
Nicky had looked away and missed seeing Shane blink back fresh tears.  
“Thanks Nix” Shane whispered.

The brunette leaned in and wrapped his arms around Nicky. The older boy quickly returned the embrace, amazed at how easily Shane’s body molded itself to his. Nicky stared over his friend’s shoulder, into the mirror and frowned. Being careful not to break the hug, the blonde raised his hand and gently lifted the collar of Shane’s shirt. A large bruise covered the skin at the base of Shane’s neck.

He didn’t react but instead cast his mind back to a similar bruise he’d seen on Shane’s chest a few weeks ago. His friend had shrugged it off, saying he’d fallen off his horse. Nicky wondered how he’d managed to forget that but reasoned that he’d had no reason not to believe that explanation.  
Nicky bit his lip to avoid saying anything and slowly pulled away.

“So are we okay now?” Nicky asked him. “I mean, I know I haven’t exactly been a good friend these past few weeks and-”  
“We’re fine, Nix” Shane interrupted, smiling. “I could never stay mad at you, no matter what you did or ‘think’ you did”  
“I’m still sorry”  
“I know… But everything’s fine now”

Shane gently petted Nicky’s arm then stood up and walked towards the mirror. Nicky watched him, quietly, knowing the conversation was finished. He looked around and found a newspaper. The blonde picked it up and started to leaf through it. Shane picked up a comb and hastily brushed his hair, watching Nicky’s reflection in the mirror.  
The younger boy’s hand was shaking and he quickly dropped the comb. He hated lying to Nicky but he knew he could never tell him the truth. He shifted his gaze and stared at his own reflection.  
‘No, it’s not all lies’ Shane reasoned. ‘Dec loves me. That part’s true’

There was a knock at the door and Kian walked into the room. He stopped when he saw Nicky and Shane, looking from one to the other, trying to size up the situation. There didn’t seem to be any obvious tension and his two friends almost seemed relaxed.  
“Almost show time” Kian spoke up.  
“Yup” Shane agreed.  
“Can’t wait” Nicky grinned. “Where’s Mark?”  
“Poisoning himself” Kian replied. His band mates stared at him in shocked confusion. “Cigarette break”  
“Oh” Nicky laughed, he looked over at Shane and saw the brunette smiling at Kian’s joke.  
“Are you two nearly ready?” Kian asked them.  
“Sure” Nicky replied.

“I need a coffee” Shane spoke up.  
He turned away from the mirror then walked towards the door. Shane moved past Kian then stopped in the doorway.  
“Either of you wanna come?” Shane asked.  
“No, you go” Nicky said.  
“Nah” Kian agreed.  
Shane nodded then continued out of the room. Once he was gone, Kian closed the door then turned to face Nicky.

“Did you two finally talk?” Kian enquired.  
Nicky nodded his head. “We did”  
“And?”  
“And what?”  
“Have you accepted the truth? That everything’s fine?”

Nicky paused, wondering how to answer Kian’s question. He made a snap decision.  
“You told me to wait until I had proof,” Nicky said. “I don’t… Yet”  
“Nicky-”  
“I can’t let this go, Ki. Not completely… But I’m not going to let my suspicions get in the way of friendship. Shane needs our support and I’m going to be there for him”  
“Nix, you’re playing with fire”  
“I’m not the one who’s going to get burned here”  
“Yes, you are”

Kian shook his head; not bothering to hide his disappointment, then turned and left the room. Nicky slammed the door closed before stomping over to the couch and collapsing into the cushions.  
He knew he shouldn’t get mad, his friends hadn’t seen what he had. They had known Declan most of their lives and, naturally, didn’t want to think badly about him. Nicky, himself, didn’t want to believe it to be true but he’d seen enough with his own eyes. He’d witnessed an act of rape and seen the bruises on Shane’s body. But it was still his word against Declan’s… And Shane was, for reasons’ unknown to Nicky, refusing to admit the truth.

“God, Shane” Nicky muttered in frustration. “Why can’t you just let me help you?”


	5. Chapter 5

Despite the issues amongst the four singers, the concert that night was one of their best. Shane forgot the words to a particular song but was able to laugh it off. Nicky couldn’t help smiling at the light in Shane’s eyes. During the medley, Kian tripped Shane which sent Mark and Nicky into spasms of laughter.  
Nicky then felt guilty for laughing at his friend and kissed him on the cheek, causing the fans to scream the roof off. Shane repaid Nicky’s act of kindness by leaping onto his back and the blonde gave him a piggyback ride.

As the encore came to an end and the lads hurried offstage, Shane’s eyes were practically twinkling. Nicky couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen his friend so full of life. He couldn’t help but wonder if it was coincidence that Shane was alight now that Declan wasn’t around.

*-*

After the show, the four singers went for drinks then staggered back to their rooms in the early hours of the morning. They each nursed hangovers the next day but were back onstage the following night for another concert.  
Shane continued to stay on form, smiling and laughing while joking with his band mates and the crowds. Shane’s mood stayed on the up until their final night in Glasgow.   
He didn’t join his band mates for drinks, choosing instead to go up to his room and pack his suitcase. Nicky also blew off his friends and stayed in. He approached Shane’s room several times but never managed the courage to knock. The blonde admitted defeat and reluctantly went to bed.

*-*-*-*-*

The first person Nicky saw when he stepped into the hotel lobby was Declan. Shane and Kian were right behind the blonde, carrying their suitcases. Nicky quickly turned to observe Shane’s reaction. The brunette saw his boyfriend and smiled at him. Dec returned the greeting.  
Kian shook hands with the older boy but Nicky didn’t react. He wasn’t sure what to do. When Declan turned to him and held out his hand in greeting, the blonde had no choice but to accept it. He wanted Dec to believe everything was cool between them.

They made small talk while their tour manager checked them in then gave out room assignments. Nicky grabbed his suitcase and started up the many flights of stairs while his friends headed towards the lift. As the blonde walked up the stairwell, he couldn’t shake the memory of look on Shane’s face. The smile had lit up his face but not reached his eyes.  
By the time Nicky reached the correct floor, the corridor was empty. He dragged his suitcase down the hall, searching for his room. Once located, he unlocked the door and went inside. The blonde collapsed on the bed and closed his eyes.

The past few days had been amazing. Shane had been his usual self and the four singers had the time of their lives, on stage and off. Declan’s arrival had brought the fun times to an end. Nicky wondered if Shane really was telling the truth. Maybe he, Nicky, was seeing something that wasn’t there… brought on by jealousy. He wasn’t going to deny that he wanted Shane but he also wanted his friend to be happy.  
The brunette had looked happy when he’d found Dec standing in the lobby but Nicky couldn’t shake the feeling something sinister was going on.

*-*

With no concert to prepare for, Nicky didn’t know what to do with himself. He’d become accustomed to Shane’s company and was missing him dearly but knew he needed to stay away; that Shane needed time alone with Declan.  
The blonde’s imagination kept running away from him. He spent the afternoon with images of Declan and Shane together plaguing his thoughts.   
He pictured Dec forcing himself on Shane. He also imagined Shane and Declan lying in bed together, making love. Both scenarios tore at Nicky’s heart, making him see red. He didn’t know which image was worse. He wanted Shane to be safe and happy… But the idea of Shane being happy with someone else brought tears to Nicky’s eyes.

It came as a relief when Mark knocked on his door and invited him to dinner. As they headed down the hall, the door to Shane’s room opened and Declan walked out, Shane followed him. Nicky couldn’t help but notice the way Declan held Shane’s wrist… Not his hand.  
At the sight of Nicky and Mark, Dec released his grip and greeted them both. Nicky cocked his head in response but didn’t speak.

“Off to dinner?” Mark asked.  
“Yup” Declan smiled, his eyes twinkling.  
“Uh, you wanna join us?”  
“Love to but can’t… We’ve got plans”  
“Anything special?”  
“Well, we can’t really go ‘out’ can we?” Declan smiled at Shane before turning back to Mark. “I’ve got a car downstairs; we’re having dinner with an old friend of mine… From school. Shane remembers him, don’t you honey?”  
Shane nodded his head. “It was Tristan, right?”  
“Yeah, Tristan… He’s an architect now”  
“You see him much these days?”  
“His parents are still in Sligo, so he visits from time to time… If I’m in town for business then we catch up”

Mark turned to Shane, smiling.  
“So, you’re meeting his friends… Must be serious then?” Mark laughed.  
“Dec knows you lads, it’s only fair I meet his friends” Shane replied.  
“Well, we’d better go… Don’t want to be late. Big night ahead” Declan smiled.  
“Such as?” Nicky asked, speaking for the first time.  
“It’s a surprise” Dec replied, sliding his arm around Shane’s waist. “Come on”  
“See you later” Shane said to his friends.  
‘Tomorrow’ Declan mouthed the word to Mark as Shane stepped into the elevator. Nicky narrowed his eyes but Mark was smiling.

“Sounds like he’s planned a big one” Mark grinned.  
“He seemed awfully happy about it all” Nicky replied.  
“Aren’t you always happy meeting up with people you don’t see often?”  
“I guess”  
“He’s pleased as punch… He loves Shane and wants to show him off to his friends”  
“But what if this friend can’t be trusted and ‘outs’ Shane?”  
“Okay now you’re just looking for trouble”  
“Mark-”  
“Can’t you just let them be? Shane’s happy and Dec would never do something to jeopardize that”  
“If you say so”  
“I thought you were past all this, Nix?”  
“Well you thought wrong”  
“When this all comes back to bite you in the ass, I’ll be first in line to do the ‘told you so’ dance”  
“Fine, I’d welcome watching you try to dance… Coz I hope to God I’m wrong about this but I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m right”

As he spoke, the blonde’s hands began to tremble and he couldn’t stop it. Mark stared at Nicky in silence then, without thinking, reached out and pulled him into a hug. The two singers stood in the hall, Nicky found himself clinging to Mark as tears formed in his eyes. He refused to let them fall though.  
The younger boy didn’t know what else to do so he simply remained standing there, holding onto Nicky. He’d already talked to Kian about Nicky but he’d been hoping the older boy was moving on… He was wrong.

“Nicky, you’ve got to let this go” Mark whispered.  
“Not until I know he’s okay” Nicky replied.  
“He is”  
“No, I know Shane… I know something is wrong and I’m going to find out what”  
“Nix-”

Nicky pulled away from Mark and looked into his eyes.  
“I swear, I’m not going to cause any trouble. I just need time…”  
“Nicky-”  
“Mark, you can’t tell me that Shane’s fine… You saw for yourself what he’s been like, when Dec’s not around… He’s the old, happy, easy-going Shay… But when Declan’s here… Shane acts like an empty shell”  
From the look in Mark’s eyes, Nicky knew he’d struck a chord.  
“It’s none of our business, Nix” Mark explained. “What they do behind closed doors has nothing to do with us”

 

A door along the corridor opened and Kian appeared in the hall. He saw his band mates and smiled at them.  
“Thought you’d be downstairs already” Kian greeted them.  
“Just saying goodnight to Shane & Dec” Mark explained. “They just left for dinner”  
“Shall we get going too then?”

*-*-*-*-*-*

Shane didn’t say much during the drive, the radio played in the background so he thought that meant Dec didn’t feel like talking. They drove for quite some time, until Shane began to get nervous. He couldn’t stand not knowing where they were going and he finally broke the silence.

“So, just how far away does Tristan live?” Shane asked.  
Declan reached out and tuned the volume down on the radio.  
“Another couple of miles” he replied. Shane nodded in understanding.  
“So… Why…” Shane changed his mind and trailed off.  
“What is it? What’s wrong?”  
“I uh… I was just wondering why we had to drive all this way? I mean, couldn’t he have… Come to us?”  
“Won’t it be more fun this way? I thought you might like a night away from the hotel… A nice home cooked meal”  
“That does sound nice…”  
They both fell silent for a few more minutes. Then Shane spoke again.  
“Dec… Why were you so insistent that I come with you tonight?”

The older boy didn’t answer, instead focusing on the road ahead. Shane took the hint and turned to look out the window. Several more minutes passed then Declan pulled the car up outside a quaint two storey house. He turned off the ignition then turned to look at Shane.

“Sorry, these streets are confusing in the dark” he said to him. Dec reached out and took hold of Shane’s hand.  
“Why did I have to leave my phone back at the hotel?” Shane asked. “What’s so important about tonight?”

“I’d wanted this to be a surprise” Declan explained. He reached up and gently stroked Shane’s cheek. “Tristan and I have been friends for years but we’ve always been pretty competitive… Each trying to score higher on tests, snogging the most people during a party… Silly stuff like that… Last time he and I spoke, I let slip that you and I were together… It wasn’t intentional, I’d never try to out you, you know that, right?”  
Shane nodded his head.  
“So this is about you having the… More successful boyfriend?” Shane asked.  
“Not exactly… See, he didn’t believe me when I said you were my boyfriend and he wanted proof”  
“So why didn’t he just come to the hotel?”  
“He knows that I’m friends with your brother and… We have an agreement, you see? I have to prove that you and I really are together… He said he wouldn’t put it past me to ask you to just pretend to be with me”  
“And if we had dinner at the hotel… Out in public, we wouldn’t be able to act like a proper couple… Because I wouldn’t want people to see us”  
“Exactly”

Declan leaned forward and captured Shane’s lips with his own. The younger boy felt himself submitting to his lover’s embrace. He wished Dec had been honest about it before arriving at Tristan’s home but at least he was being truthful now.  
The couple separated then climbed out of the car. Declan pulled a satchel bag from the back seat and closed the door. Shane cast a confused look at him but the older boy simply smiled at him. Dec locked the car and tucked the keys into the bag. Shane walked around and reached out for his lover’s hand.

“What’s in the bag?” Shane asked him.  
“Supplies” Declan grinned at him.  
“What kind of supplies?”  
“Shay, baby, are you going to question everything tonight?”  
“No, just some things”

Declan sighed. He pulled Shane to him then leaned back against the car. He checked his watch, noted they were early, and then looked back at his lover. It had been his intention to keep it a surprise but now he realized he wasn’t sure how Shane would react. He now decided it was best not to spring it on his lover in front of Tristan.  
“Baby, you trust me right?” Dec asked.  
“You know I do” Shane replied before kissing him.  
“And you would do anything for me… No questions asked?”  
“Are we about to do something illegal?”  
Declan laughed. “No… It’s just, like I said… Tristan wants proof of us being a couple”  
“Yeah?”  
“You asked what was in the bag… You remember what I gave you for our 3 month anniversary?”

Shane’s eyes widened from shock or fear, Declan wasn’t sure. He placed the satchel on the bonnet of the car then put his arms around Shane. The brunette was trembling.  
“Why did you bring handcuffs?” Shane asked. “You know I don’t like them…”  
“It’s about trust, Shay. We’re going to show Tristan how much you trust me”  
“You… You’re going to… To tie me up and let him watch?”  
Shane’s legs began to give out from beneath him but Declan held him up. Tears of disbelief filled Shane’s eyes.  
“No, baby” Declan whispered. Shane’s breathing was erratic but became considerably calmer at hearing those words. “He’s not going to watch, he’s going to join us”   
“No” Shane whispered as tears filled his eyes.

Shane tried to pull away from his lover, to break the embrace, but Declan held him tighter. The older boy kissed Shane’s forehead as the younger boy struggled in his arms.

“Declan, please?” Shane whispered. “Please don’t make me do this”  
“I’m not making you do anything, baby” Declan replied.  
“But you said-”  
“I don’t understand, Shane. Don’t you want to do this for me? You just said that you trust me… And I know you would do anything for me… Because you love me”  
“Dec-”  
“You do love me, don’t you?”  
“Yes”  
“Then I don’t see the problem here, baby… If you love me then you’ll do this”  
Shane looked up and met Declan’s eyes.  
“But if you love me, you wouldn’t make me do this” he whispered.


	6. Chapter 6

Nicky awoke with a pounding headache. He’d lost count of the amount of drinks he’d let Kian and Mark give him. Declan’s arrival had sent Nicky into one of his trademark bad moods and drinking temporarily eased that pain. During the evening, he’d phoned Shane but the younger boy had failed to answer the call. This lead Nicky to tequila shots and the rest of the evening was now a hazy fog in his mind.  
He sat up and discovered he’d fallen asleep on the floor. Glancing, wearily, around the room, he discovered it was the floor of Mark’s room. Climbing, unsteadily, to his feet, he paused to allow his eyes to focus. Mark was on the bed, as was Kian. His band mates seemed to have fallen asleep in a compromising position. Nicky was just relieved they were both fully clothed.

“Mark?” He groaned. “Kian?”

The blonde stumbled over to the bed and attempted to wake his friends. When neither of them stirred, he gave up and made his way to the kettle. Coffee sounded good right now. He lay back on the floor while he waited for the water to boil.

The smell of coffee roused Kian from his slumber. He was startled to find himself wrapped around his band mate but was able to extract himself without waking Mark. The blonde looked up at Nicky and saw the look on his face.

“Not a word” Kian warned him. Nicky smirked.  
“Coffee?” Nicky held a cup out to his friend.  
Kian reached out and took hold of the mug. He raised it to his lips and took a quick mouthful. It burned his tongue but he welcomed it.

“What time is it?” Kian asked.  
“After eleven” Nicky replied. “What time did we get in?”  
“Four? Five?”  
“Five” Mark groaned.

Nicky and Kian both turned to look at Mark. The brunette was still lying on the bed, massaging his temples. Kian picked up a cup of coffee and took it to his friend. Mark reluctantly sat up and grabbed the mug.

“It was after five… I’m sure of it” Mark said.  
“Let’s not do that again” Nicky stated. “Anytime soon, I mean”  
“Awww, come on. It was fun… Wasn’t it?” Kian asked.  
“Was it?”  
“I can’t remember”  
“My head hurts”

“Have we got a show tonight?” Mark asked.  
“I can’t remember” Nicky replied.  
“Yeah… I think we do” Kian added.

“Okay” Nicky stated. He downed the rest of his coffee and dropped the mug on the table. “I’m going to shower and maybe have another nap… Don’t call on me until it’s time to leave for the show”

The older boy picked up his jacket and walked towards the door. Neither of his friends attempted to stop him. Both were still trying to decipher what he’d just said. The door swung closed behind him and Mark barely even noticed.

“I swear my head has never hurt this much” Mark groaned.  
“I don’t know… You said that after your last birthday” Kian replied.  
“But we didn’t hit the tequila then”  
“True”  
“At least we managed to distract Nicky”  
“No… Don’t go there”  
“Go where?”  
Kian sighed. “Nicky, Shane, Dec… I’m done. Nicky can think whatever the hell he wants… But I’m done”  
“Ki-”  
“I mean it, Mark… We just keep having the same discussion over and over again and I’m sick of it. If Dec was mistreating Shane, we would know”  
Mark shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t want to get caught in the middle of this, despite already being placed there. Kian had a point but Mark was still worried what would happen if Nicky turned out to be correct.

“I need a shower” Mark said, effectively changing the subject.  
“Me too” Kian agreed. “I might follow Nicky’s example and get some shut-eye… Then maybe room service for lunch”  
“Guess I’ll see you when it’s time to leave for the show?”  
“Yeah… Later”

Kian put his empty coffee cup down then left the room. Mark stood in the centre of the room, looking at the bed then to the bathroom. He couldn’t decide if he should shower or sleep first. He shook his head then walked over to the clock. The singer set an alarm to sound in one hour then climbed back onto the bed. He was asleep before his head even hit the pillow.

*-*-*-*-*-*

 

Shane opened his eyes then blinked several times. The room around him didn’t look familiar. It lacked the usual décor of a hotel and the bed itself was much more comfortable. He rolled over and found Declan lying awake beside him.  
Memories of the previous night came flooding back to him and Shane closed his eyes. From fear or humiliation, he wasn’t sure. When Dec reached out and touched him, the contact sent a shiver down his spine.

“Open your eyes” Dec whispered in his ear. Shane obeyed.  
The older boy leaned in and kissed Shane’s lips. The younger boy was trembling. Declan was quick to wrap his arms around his boyfriend, pulling his body closer to his.

“You were amazing last night” Declan whispered. “Thank you”  
“I… I said I didn’t want to” Shane replied.  
“I know but you had fun… Right?”  
Shane didn’t know how to respond and feared his voice would give him away. Unable to form words, the brunette simply nodded his head.  
“I knew you would” Declan smiled.

“Will you take me back to the hotel?” Shane asked; his voice timid.  
“I could take you now…” Dec trailed off as he ran his hand down Shane’s body, stopping to rest on his thigh. “I *should* have you now…”  
“Dec-” Shane whispered.  
“I need to reclaim you, baby” There was a hint of annoyance in his voice. “He wasn’t supposed to have you like I do…”

Declan moved his hand and wrapped it around Shane’s waist. He then nuzzled his face against the younger boy’s neck.  
“We didn’t hurt you, did we?” he asked. Shane shook his head. “I know we got a little carried away but you looked so beautiful and… When he suggested it, I couldn’t say no”  
“I… You always said you don’t like to share”  
“I know… I’ve always been a possessive bastard but I’ve learned to play nice on occasion”

“I… I have a show tonight” Shane began.  
“I know” Dec smiled. “And you’re going to be amazing, as always”  
“So I… Have to get back to the hotel… To shower and stuff before heading to the sound check”  
“Don’t worry; I’ll have you there in plenty of time”

Shane, once again, nodded his head. Declan smiled then kissed him. The older boy climbed out of bed and proceeded to get dressed. Once finished, he deposited Shane’s clothes on the end of the bed and instructed him to be ready to leave soon.  
The younger boy didn’t say anything in return, no response was necessary. He watched Declan walk out of the room. He closed the door as he went, giving Shane the illusion of privacy. The thought made brunette feel slightly ill. Tristan had already seen him naked, what different did it make now? Not wanting to keep Dec waiting, Shane climbed out of the bed and struggled to pull his clothes on.  
His body ached in places he was ashamed to admit. As he buttoned his shirt, his hands were shaking. He looked down and saw the damage the handcuffs had done to his wrists. Shane had begged Declan not to use them but his lover had insisted. Shane knew that he, himself, had made it worse by fighting against the bonds but he didn’t like being tied up… Especially when he remembered what he’d let them do to him.  
‘No, you didn’t *let* them’ Shane told himself. ‘You were choice less’ but his lover had been truthful when he’d said that he wouldn’t let Tristan hurt him.

Shane quietly made his way down the stairs. He could hear voices coming from the Kitchen and stopped just outside.  
“I can’t believe he just took it” Tristan was saying. “He really trusts you, hey?”  
“Of course, he loves me” Dec replied. “And I love him. He trusts me not to hurt him”  
“We didn’t, did we?”  
“Nah, he’s a big boy… It was nothing he couldn’t handle”  
“I’m sorry I doubted you…”  
“Guess you can admit I won this round?”  
“I don’t know, I think we were both winners last night” Tristan laughed. “Next time I see him singing on TV…”  
“You’ll be thinking to yourself ‘I’ve come in that mouth’?” Dec said. “I still have those thoughts… And we’ve done a lot more than that”

“Hey man,” Tristan stated. “Thanks for letting me join in. I hope we weren’t too rough with him… Guess he’s not used to such…”  
“No, he’s not… That’s something I’ll have to get him used to”  
Tristan’s voice seemed to go up as he spoke. “Well, if you’re ever looking to share again… You know where to find me”

Neither of them spoke after that so Shane took the opportunity to make his presence known. Declan immediately wrapped his arms around him and kissed him deeply. The younger boy tried not to appear uncomfortable but he didn’t like the way Tristan was staring at him.

“Will you stay for breakfast?” he asked them.

Shane kept his back to Tristan and kept himself firmly inside Declan’s embrace. As Tristan asked if they would stay, Shane tentatively kissed his lover’s neck. Dec smiled and slid his hand down Shane’s back, coming to rest on the younger boy’s ass.  
“We really should get going” Declan replied. “Thank you for dinner”  
“You’re welcome” Tristan said. “Thank you for an entertaining evening. We must do it again some time”  
“Always happy to catch up, buddy… Reminisce on old times”  
“It was good to see you again, Shane”  
“Yeah” Shane agreed. “I’ll tell Liam you said hi”  
“Thanks” Tristan smiled.

With his arm still firmly wrapped around Shane’s waist, Declan led him towards the front door. He stopped to pick up his bag and the next thing Shane knew, they were back in the car and driving away.

“Are you okay, baby?” Dec asked him. Shane nodded.  
“I’m fine” he replied.  
“Your wrists are chafed”  
Shane looked at them then quickly pulled down the cuffs on his jacket.  
“I… Forgot they weren’t lined” Shane whispered. “I shouldn’t have struggled so much”  
“Tris thought you were playing… He liked it”  
“I know”

They both fell silent. Shane turned and stared out the window, not really seeing his surroundings. Relationships were about sacrifice, he’d already sacrificed so much… What was one more thing to give up? The singer blinked several times to hold back tears but continued staring out the window. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Declan. His lover never should have made him do it.  
But you willingly climbed onto the bed, he reminded himself. You let him cuff you to the bed, knowing exactly what was to come. Well, maybe not *exactly*. He really hadn’t seen *that* coming.

Declan didn’t speak again until he pulled the car into the car park. He turned off the ignition and turned to look at Shane. The younger boy was staring down at his hands.  
“I can’t remember if I told you how proud I am of you” Declan said.  
Shane slowly looked up and met his lover’s gaze.  
“I love that you trust me so completely” he continued. “That you let me do the things I do to you… It really means a lot”  
He reached out for Shane’s hand but the brunette pulled away.  
“Public place” Shane whispered. Declan retracted his hand.

Shane opened the door and climbed out of the car. He was almost relieved to find himself back at the hotel. He couldn’t wait to crawl into a nice, warm bath. Shane turned and saw Dec rummaging in the back seat. The older boy looked up and saw Shane watching him.  
“You go on upstairs” he said to him. “I… Seem to have misplaced something”  
The singer nodded then turned and walked away. Declan’s words echoed in his head. ‘That you let me do the things I do to you’ he’d said. Shane pulled his jacket tighter around himself as he climbed into the elevator. A shiver passed down his spine that had nothing to do with the chilly car park.  
‘Like I really had a choice’ Shane muttered to himself.

*-*-*-*-*-*

That night’s sound check wasn’t one of their best. One microphone wasn’t working while two earwigs were giving off noisy feedback. Their choreographer insisted on running through one of the dance routines but stopped when Shane tripped over and had trouble regaining his balance.

Nicky, being closest to Shane at the time, managed to stop him from hitting the ground and helped him into a nearby chair. The younger boy held a firm grip on Nicky’s arm but only after looking around to ensure Declan wasn’t there to see.

“Are you okay?” Nicky asked as he handed Shane a bottle of water.  
The brunette nodded before taking a swig.  
“Rough night?” Nicky continued. He dropped down into the seat beside Shane, looking at him with concern.  
“Uh… No… Just a late one, is all”  
“We were out till five… You?  
“Bout eleven this morning… It got late so we slept with…Uh… At Dec’s friend’s house”  
“So, you had fun then? It was good fun?”  
“Yeah, sure”

Nicky had, at some point in the conversation, reached out and placed his hand on Shane’s knee. Neither one of them acknowledged this gesture but Shane found it comforting. Though he was sure that if Nicky knew the real reason he was so run down, the blonde wouldn’t touch him with a six foot pole.  
“Thanks for catching me back there, Nix” Shane said to him.  
“Anytime Shay” Nicky smiled, reassuringly. “You see, I am always here for you, when you need me”

Shane returned the smile, wishing Nicky’s statement really were true. I need you now, Shane’s mind was screeching. ‘Help me, Nix, please’ he wanted to shout but he couldn’t.  
Instead, he reached out and placed his hand on top of Nicky’s… Just in time for Declan to walk into the room and see it. Shane happened to look up. The look on his lover’s face said more than words ever would.


	7. Chapter 7

Despite seeing Shane and Nicky together, Declan didn’t call attention to it. He didn’t even attempt to get Shane on his own to talk about it. This action or lack thereof irked the singer. Shane had seen the glint in his lover’s eye and slowly retracted his hand but the damage was already done. Declan had held his eye for a moment then made his way over to Mark and engaged him in conversation.  
For the following hour, Shane felt like he was walking on egg shells. Every time he looked at Dec, he expected to be called away from his band mates. But that never happened. He kept his distance from Nicky though, hoping not to add fuel to the growing fire.

By the time the sound check finished and they headed off to dinner, Shane was almost too scared to breath. The longer Declan had to stew, the worse his anger (and punishment) would be.  
Kian, Shane and Declan all entered the dressing room but the younger boy only stayed long enough to collect his jacket. He looked at the couple, as though contemplating whether or not to ask if they were going to join him, but left without saying a word.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Declan turned to Shane. The younger boy was visibly shaking. Dec moved forward and wrapped his arms around him. Shane froze, unsure of what to say or do. Usually whichever path he chose was the wrong one. Should he act like nothing had happened? Apologize for what he did? Drop to his knees and pleasure his lover before Dec can say anything?

“Are you trying to hurt me, Shane?” Declan asked.  
“What?” No” Shane replied.  
“Cause that’s what happens when I see you with him; I feel like I’m not enough for you”  
“Dec, I… I fell during rehearsals and he caught me; stopped me from hurting myself… Then he wanted to make sure I was okay… I… I wanted him to believe me and… Sometimes Nicky needs more convincing than others”  
“So you touched him”  
“His hand, Dec… It was all innocent, I promise”

Declan released Shane and walked over to the couch. He sank down into the cushions and didn’t look at the younger boy. Shane watched him, still unsure of what to do. He took a deep breath and approached his lover. He didn’t speak; He stood before Declan then climbed onto the couch, placing one leg on either side of his lover and straddling his lap.

“Dec” Shane whispered.

 

He reached out and placed both hands on the older boy’s neck. When Declan finally met his eye, Shane leaned forward and kissed him.  
“You know you’re the only one for me” Shane insisted.  
“Do I?” he replied.  
“Yes”

Declan raised a hand and took hold of one of Shane’s. He lowered it and grabbed the sleeve of his shirt, exposing the inflamed skin. Shane stared at the marks for a moment then looked at his lover.  
“It’ll heal” Shane whispered. “I love you”  
The older boy nodded his head. “You know I didn’t mean to hurt you”  
“I know”  
“Just… Sometimes I get carried away…”  
“It’s okay” Shane assured him. “You know I trust you”

The older boy leaned in and kissed Shane’s lips. The brunette eagerly returned the embrace, thankful he’d managed to avert a crisis. For a moment, neither of them moved, Shane allowing himself to be held by his lover.   
“I should go” Shane said. “Have to eat before the show”

He pulled away from the older boy and climbed off the couch. Shane smiled at him before disappearing into the bathroom. Dec looked down and saw Shane’s phone on the floor. He picked it up and quickly searched the inbox. An idea occurred to him, he wasn’t sure if it would work but decided it was worth a try.

*-*

Nicky was walking behind Mark and Kian, heading towards the exit, when his phoned sounded in his pocket. He pulled it out and noticed a text message. ‘Dressing room. 10 mins. Don’t tell anyone’

“What’s up?” Mark asked him.  
“Uh, go ahead” Nicky told his friends. “I have to call them back”

His band mates didn’t question him. They just turned and continued down the hall. Nicky leaned back against the wall, staring at the message. Should he reply? Shane usually didn’t send things like that but it sounded like he needed help. Nicky checked his watch. It would take almost ten minutes to reach Shane’s dressing room. He slipped his phone back into his pocket and hurried back the way he’d just come.

*-*

Shane emerged from the bathroom, a few minutes later, and found Declan still sitting on the couch. He walked over to him and held out his hand. Dec smiled up at him, took hold of Shane’s hand then pulled the younger boy towards him.   
Shane laughed as Declan playfully tickled him. Their earlier disagreement was now a thing of the past. Dec began to trail kisses down Shane’s neck as his hand traveled between his legs.

“Dec, come on” Shane said, attempting to pull away.  
“Come on, baby” Declan replied. “It won’t take long”  
“But-” Shane’s eyes shot towards the door.  
“It’s okay, I locked it”  
“What if someone hears us?”

The older boy reached over and turned the stereo on. Shane opened his mouth to protest but Declan silenced him with a kiss, plunging his tongue into his mouth as his hand wrapped around Shane’s growing hardness. The singer tried to say no, knowing they shouldn’t be doing this here but Declan’s hands were already working their magic. The brunette was already hard and when he felt Dec removing his pants, he didn’t try to argue.  
Shane sank back against the cushions as Declan slipped off the couch and kneeled on the floor before his lover. Shane closed his eyes then groaned as Dec’s lips closed around his arousal. 

*-*

Nicky reached Shane and Kian’s dressing room in record time. His mind had run through every possible scenario as to why Shane would send him that message. He’d seen the look of guilt on his friend’s face when Shane had touched his hand earlier. He held back a frustrated sigh. There had been nothing sinister about the touch, Shane shouldn’t have been afraid to touch him.  
In that moment, Nicky had realized just how frightened Shane was of Declan. The blonde feared Dec had hurt Shane in some way for what he’d seen. Nicky stopped just outside the door and raised his hand to knock.  
It had only been eight minutes. He wondered if Declan was in there with Shane. The blonde pressed his ear to the door, trying to hear if more than one person was in there. All he could hear was the radio.

Without thinking, he reached for the door knob and quietly pushed the door open. Of all the scenarios he’d pictured, the one he saw before him wasn’t one he’d considered.  
Declan was on his knees before Shane, feverishly sucking the younger boy’s cock. Shane, himself, was thrusting eagerly into his lover’s mouth. His eyes closed, beads of sweat rolling down his face, head tossed back in ecstasy.  
There was no way Shane was faking the look of excitement on his face. Declan wasn’t forcing himself upon the younger boy, Shane was a willing, very willing, participant.

Neither one of them noticed him. Both too preoccupied while the radio blocked out any noise he might have made. He took a step back and quietly pulled the door closed behind him. As he walked away, down the hall, his vision became impaired from the tears that formed in his eyes.  
He stopped, unsure of where he was, and sank down to the floor. Nicky buried his face in his hands and let tears fall. He couldn’t believe he’d gotten it all wrong.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Mark and Kian finished eating and headed back to the arena. Both agreed it was strange that Nicky hadn’t shown up but they assumed he had good reason. It was odd that he hadn’t called them to explain but Nicky was a grown man and didn’t have to explain himself to everyone all the time. The two singers separated and headed to their dressing rooms.  
Mark reached the dressing room he shared with Nicky and opened the door. He stepped inside and stopped in his tracks. His friend was curled up on the couch, hugging a pillow to his chest and crying.

“Nicky?” Mark gasped.

He closed the door behind him and hurried over to the older boy. He pulled Nicky into his arms and the blonde wrapped his arms around Mark’s waist. He buried his face in his chest and continued to cry.

“Nicky?” Mark began. “What happened?”  
“You were right” Nicky sobbed.  
“About?”  
“Declan… I… I was wrong so…”  
“Nix, this is a good thing… Isn’t it? I mean, Shane’s okay right?”  
The blonde nodded his head.

“He looked so happy” Nicky said. “I… I saw them together, in the dressing room and Shane was… He was… Enjoying himself”  
“You were spying on them? Nicky-”  
“I wasn’t! I… I just… Walked into the dressing room and saw them together… And I… I just….”

Mark gently stroked his hand through Nicky’s hair, attempting to comfort the blonde. He didn’t really understand why Nicky was so upset. He’d thought Nicky would be okay once he knew Shane wasn’t in any danger.

“I love him, Mark” Nicky whispered.  
The realization hit him but he continued to hold his friend.  
“You wanted it to be true?” Mark asked. “So Shane would leave him?”  
Nicky nodded his head.  
“How could I have gotten it so wrong?” Nicky asked. “All the signs were there, Mark”  
“You obviously only saw what you wanted to see”  
“But… I’m in love with him, Mark”  
“I know you are”

Nicky pulled away from the younger boy and stood up. He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath.  
“Shouldn’t you be dancing right about now?” Nicky asked. “Telling me ‘I told you so’?”  
Mark stood up, reached out and pulled Nicky to him once more.  
“Not today, Nicky” he assured him.  
“Good”

The blonde broke away from his friend again then walked over to the clothes rack. He began sorting through them, searching for the first stage outfit. He located his clothes and pulled them from the stand.

“Nicky?” Mark asked.  
“Forget about it, Mark” Nicky replied.  
“But-”  
“Look” Nicky turned around and looked at his friend. “I made a mistake and I feel like an idiot, okay? I just… I didn’t realize just how much I cared about him… How much I wanted him for myself… Until I saw him with Dec”

“Nicky…” Mark paused, unsure of what to say next. “You were right though… About the way he’s been acting. He’s not the same old Shane. He’s like two different people. One when he’s with Dec and one when Dec’s not around”  
“You don’t think I imagined it all?”  
“I don’t know what to say, Nicky… But I thought you were looking for proof. You had all these reasons for Shane being mistreated and now you’ve found one thing to disprove the theory and you’re giving up?”

Nicky dropped his shirt and looked at Mark in utter confusion.  
“Weren’t you the one telling me I was wrong and to drop it?” Nicky demanded.  
“Yes, I was” Mark replied. “But the Nicky I know wouldn’t give up so easily on someone he claims to love so much”


	8. Chapter 8

That night’s show went as badly as the sound check. Nicky kept his distance from Shane and the brunette wasn’t sure why. Though Shane was secretly glad for the separation, fearing he may touch or hug his friend without realizing and that would upset Declan. The brunette still couldn’t believe his luck. He’d been expecting his lover to bring the roof off with his anger but the older boy had done nothing of the sort. He wasn’t sure what had caused Nicky to stay away from him and hoped Declan hadn’t warned him off but, Shane realized, Dec hadn’t been alone with Nicky all day.  
By the time they came off stage, Shane was doing his best to hide his disappointment. Nicky wouldn’t even meet his eye. Shane wanted to confront his friend but he knew Declan wouldn’t like that. 

Kian and Shane returned to their dressing room and hurriedly changed their clothes. Declan wasn’t in the room so Shane questioned Kian, hopeful that he would know what was wrong with Nicky.  
Mark had sought Kian out before the show and explained the situation to him. Kian stared at Shane, not sure how to answer his questions. He didn’t want to tell Shane that Nicky was upset because he was jealous… He couldn’t, no he wouldn’t, be the one to tell Shane that Nicky was in love with him. 

“I don’t know,” Kian lied. “He seemed okay this afternoon… Actually, now that I think of it… He got a text right before we went to dinner, said he’d catch up with us coz he needed to phone someone… But he never showed up. Maybe something happened”  
“You didn’t ask him?”  
“I thought that… If he wanted to talk about it then he’d come to one of us. He didn’t come to me though. Maybe you should just ask him?”  
“I can’t… I mean, you’re right. If he wanted me to know what’s wrong then he’d come to me and tell me, right?”  
“I know things have been weird between the two of you lately…”  
“We’ll get there…”  
“When’s Dec heading off?”  
“Sunday… He’s got work on Monday”  
“So what are you going to do until then?”  
“We’ve got a show tomorrow night… And Sunday night…”  
“Do you miss him…? When he’s back home?”  
“Of course”  
“So… You really love him? And he… He treats you okay?”  
Shane’s eyes darkened as he glared at Kian.  
“Not you too” Shane spat.

“Shane, please, you have to understand” Kian argued. “We’re worried about you”  
“I’m fine, Kian!” Shane snapped.  
The brunette grabbed his jacket and stormed from the room. He threw open the door and stepped out into the hall. Declan was waiting for him.

“Ready to go?” he asked him. Shane nodded his head. “Is Kian coming?”  
“He’s waiting for Nicky and Mark” Shane replied.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Shane and Declan stopped by the hotel bar. Declan ordered their drinks while Shane managed to find a table concealed in the corner. The couple sat down and relaxed with their drinks. Ten minutes later, Kian entered the bar with Nicky and Mark. There was a brief moment of awkwardness. Shane turned away from them and paid his full attention to Declan.

“What’s going on, Shane?” Dec asked.  
“Nothing” he replied.  
“Don’t lie to me…”  
“I’m not-”  
“Don’t make me force it out of you”  
The older boy was smiling as he spoke. Shane wished his lover was joking but there was an equally good chance that he had every intention of making Shane tell him the truth.

“Nicky’s upset with me” Shane replied.  
“Why?”  
“I don’t know”  
“Does it really matter? You don’t need him… You’ve got me”  
“Nicky’s my friend”  
Declan lowered his voice. “He accused me of raping you” he growled in Shane’s ear.  
“I know” Shane averted his eyes. He wanted, so badly, to say ‘but you did!’ but he couldn’t do it.

Declan reached out and placed his hand on Shane’s chin, urging the younger boy to look at him. Their corner was dark enough that no one would notice his actions. For a moment, Shane still wouldn’t meet his eye. Dec closed his fist, tightening his hold on the younger boy’s jaw. Shane looked up and stared into his lover’s eyes.

“He has a strange way of showing his friendship” Declan stated. “Barging into our room and stopping our love making”  
“He wasn’t expecting you to be there” Shane replied. “He thought I was alone in my room”  
“So he was sneaking in to have his way with you”  
“No!”

Shane managed to break free of Declan’s grasp but he didn’t do anything else. He simply stared at his lover, unable to speak. Declan stood up, he grabbed Shane’s wrist and pulled him to his feet.

“Let’s go” he hissed.  
Shane wrenched his hand out of Declan’s grasp. The two men stood in complete silence, staring at each other. The older boy narrowed his eyes then turned his back on the brunette. He started to walk away.  
“Dec, wait” Shane whispered.  
“Let’s not cause a scene” Declan replied, his back still to Shane.

The younger boy looked around and was relieved to see no one watching them. He walked around the table and stopped at Declan’s side.  
“I’m sorry” Shane whispered. “I didn’t mean to-”  
“Shane”  
“Please, forgive me?”

“Is everything okay, lads?” Mark spoke up.  
He seemed to have appeared from nowhere. Shane looked at him, confused. The younger boy had had his back to them a moment ago.  
“We’re fine, Mark” Shane insisted. “Goodnight”

The brunette smiled at Mark before picking up his jacket and walking towards the door. Declan watched him go, his eyes following the younger boy’s path all the way to the lobby.  
“He’s just stressed” Declan explained to Mark. “I’m sure you all are. He just needs a good… Seeing to”  
“Declan… Is everything okay with the two of you?”  
“I’m sorry, Mark. It’s just… Things seemed much easier before you lads knew about us”  
“I’m sorry too then”  
“Nicky’s been causing so much trouble too. I worry that he’s trying to come between us…”  
“No, Nicky would never do something like that”  
“I hope you’re right, Mark. I don’t want to lose Shane. He means so much to me” Mark nodded. “Anyway, I don’t want to keep him waiting. Goodnight”  
“Night”

Declan turned and left the bar. Mark watched his exit before returning to his friends. He sat down and picked up his drink.  
“What was that all about?” Kian asked.  
“Who knows?” Mark replied. “We have to do something about this”  
“There’s nothing to do, Mark” Nicky said. He finished his drink and climbed to his feet. “This isn’t any of our business”

Nicky excused himself and walked out of the bar. He pushed open the door to the stair well and began the long hike to their floor. The alcohol in his system made the walk less painful but he was still relieved to open the door and enter their hallway. The blonde continued down the hall, past Shane’s room and he heard a noise. He looked down and saw something on the floor.  
The singer knelt down and picked up a USB key. He recognized it as the same type of ones that Declan used. He’d borrowed one some time ago to clear space on his camera. Nicky knew it was a stretch to assume it belonged to Declan but he pocketed it anyway.

Once inside his room, he walked over to his bag and pulled out his laptop. It took a few minutes to plug in and start up so he made himself a cup of coffee then settled down at the table with the computer. He pulled the USB key from his pocket and examined it. If he plugged it in, he might be able to prove it belonged to Dec and would then be able to give it back to him. But what were the chances of it being his? Nicky wasn’t sure how many other guests were on this floor.

Throwing caution to the wind, he plugged it into the USB port and waited for it to load. Several minutes passed before a folder opened. Nicky ran the cursor over each file. They were very large video files. Most were dated as several months ago. He clicked on one and waited for it to open. The picture came into focus and he recognized Shane. The brunette was standing in front of the camera, his arms folded across his chest.

“You can’t be serious” Shane said, his eyes twinkling with nervous excitement.  
“Of course I am” he heard Declan’s reply.  
“But… What if someone sees it?”  
“No one is going to find it, I promise”

The picture angle changed as the camera was placed aside, still in full focus of the bed. Declan appeared on the screen and placed his hand on Shane’s cheek. The very image sent a jealous wave of emotion through the blonde. He wanted to turn it off, knowing he shouldn’t be watching something so intimate.

“I’m nervous” Shane whispered.  
“Don’t you want to see how it looks?” Declan replied. “You won’t believe how beautiful you look when you come”  
Shane bit his lip but the twinkle in his eye didn’t waiver.

Nicky found himself moving closer to the screen. Watching closely as Declan began touching Shane. The blonde bit his lip, not wanting to watch but unable to look away. He heard Shane moan his lover’s name and his heart beat that little bit faster.  
Declan’s lips caressed Shane’s, his hand exploring the younger man’s body. Nicky watched, jealously, as Declan’s hand vanished inside Shane’s pants. He looked at the expression on his friend’s face and his breath caught in his throat. Shane had never looked so beautiful to him.  
By the time Declan separated Shane from his pants, the brunette was hard. Nicky licked his own lips as Shane’s arousal disappeared inside Declan’s mouth.

The blonde quickly came to his senses and stopped the video. His hand was shaking and his own cock was stirring. Nicky leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes. He needed to think rationally about this. He knew it was wrong to watch these videos; he was invading their privacy now. But what if one of these clips held the proof he was looking for?   
Kian and Mark wouldn’t be able to deny it any longer if he brought them video proof. Nicky sighed. Who was he kidding? Declan wasn’t an idiot, he wouldn’t be stupid enough to film himself raping Shane then leave it just lying around.

The blonde singer quickly sat up, his eyes flying open. He’d been set up! First he’d received that text message which had led him to see Declan and Shane together and now he just happened to find a USB filled with sex tapes. It was all too much of a coincidence.  
But who was behind it? Shane had sent him the text message, had he dropped the USB outside Nicky’s room too? Maybe Dec had planted it there to trick him? But this could also be Shane’s way of crying out for help. Maybe there was a video of Dec doing something wrong and this was the only way Shane could ask for help?

Nicky looked back at the computer screen, contemplating what to do. He checked the dates on the files, trying to reason with himself and justify watching the remaining video files. The blonde scrolled down to the last few which were dated a few months back. Once again throwing caution to the wind, and telling himself it was for the best, he opened one of the files.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Declan unlocked the door to his and Shane’s room and went inside. He closed and locked the door behind him. The older boy turned around and found Shane sitting on the bed.

“What the fuck was that?” Declan demanded.  
“I’m sorry” Shane whispered. “I… I wasn’t thinking”  
“Obviously not”  
He approached the bed, Shane didn’t move. Declan stopped before the singer, raised his hand and backhanded him with such force that the brunette fell off the bed. Shane lay on the floor, unsure if he should get up or not.  
Declan gave one swift kick to Shane’s chest, causing the younger boy to whimper in pain. His lover then reached down, grabbed hold of Shane’s shirt and roughly pulled him to his feet. He leaned in and forced his lips upon Shane’s. The brunette flinched but didn’t attempt to break away.

“You know I don’t like doing this baby” Declan whispered.  
“Then don’t” Shane sobbed. “Please”

The older boy shook his head and roughly removed Shane’s shirt. He pushed his lover down onto the bed and began clawing at the waistband of his pants.

“I’m sorry” Shane whispered. “It won’t happen again”  
Declan didn’t respond. He simply continued the task at hand, removing Shane’s shoes and pants. Once the brunette was completely naked, he stopped.  
“Please, I swear” Shane sobbed. “I didn’t mean to...”

His lover stopped and turned his back on Shane, searching for something. When he returned to Shane’s side, he was holding a tie in his hands. The younger boy’s eyes widened in fear and he shook his head no. Declan smiled at him and climbed onto the bed. He tossed one leg over Shane and straddled his lover.

“Please” Shane whispered. “Please don’t-”  
He grabbed both of Shane’s wrists and wrapped the tie around the already inflamed skin. Tears formed in Shane’s eyes and began to spill down his cheeks. Declan reached down and gently brushed them aside.  
“You brought this upon yourself Shane” Declan told him.  
“I know” Shane sobbed.  
“Why haven’t you learned yet? I don’t like having to punish you like this”  
“I know”  
Declan unzipped his pants and freed his growing hardness.  
“I’m not going to use any lube” Dec whispered.  
“I know” Shane sobbed.  
“And remember, don’t scream… It’ll only make it worse”  
“I know”


	9. Chapter 9

Nicky knew it was wrong but he watched the same video more than once. The third one he opened only consisted of Shane. The younger boy sat on the bed, smiling at the camera and touching himself. From the sounds of it, Dec was in the room, operating the camera but he didn’t appear on screen. The whole video consisted of Shane jerking himself off and playing with a vibrator. Nicky felt guilty for doing it but he couldn’t help jerking himself off as he watched it.  
He’d had to agree with Declan; Shane was beautiful when he came. Nicky had wished he could climb into the computer and join the brunette. He could only imagine, dream, what it would be like to have Shane in his bed. The way his body arched, his cock stood to attention and he gave the camera a ‘come fuck me’ smirk.

The blonde felt sick afterwards, hating himself for jerking off to a video of his best friend. He stopped the video, walked into the bathroom and hastily cleaned himself off. The singer took a moment to compose himself before returning to the computer. There were only two videos remaining. He selected the larger file and began playing it. He found it odd that this one had no sound.  
He found himself moving closer to the screen and paying even better attention. It appeared similar to the first one but Shane was already naked on the bed when it started. Nicky watched as Declan appeared on the bed and started touching him. The brunette didn’t appear as enthused in this video but the lack of sound made it difficult to determine.

Then he saw it. Declan and Shane were rolling around on the bed, moving closer to the camera. Nicky stared at Shane’s face, telling himself not to look any lower. As he stared at the brunette’s face, he saw Declan’s hand close around his throat. Shane’s mouth then formed the word ‘No’ as he tried to push Dec’s hand away.  
Nicky enlarged the image and stared at it. As Declan positioned himself at Shane’s entrance, Nicky examined his friend’s face. He was crying! It was easy enough to miss if one wasn’t looking for it. He continued to watch the video, never taking his eyes off Shane’s face.

The clip came to an end and Nicky leaned back in the chair. It wasn’t his imagination, Shane had definitely been crying. Perhaps that was why the video was lacking sound. He decided to check the last video but it didn’t show anything incriminating.  
He went back to the previous video and watched it again, this time in slow motion. The singer didn’t feel quite so sick with himself for re-watching this particular one. He focused only on Shane’s face and noted two more times that the brunette said ‘No’.

Nicky unplugged the USB and turned the computer off. His mind was reeling from all he’d just seen and learned. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions but this was almost certified proof that he had been right. The date on the clip had been more than two months ago. How long had this been going on, Nicky wondered.  
The feeling of unease in his stomach began to grow. He closed the lid of the computer and walked over to the bed. The singer curled up in a ball and closed his eyes. He needed to help Shane. The brunette needed him. Was this his way of calling out for help?

Nicky opened his eyes and checked his watch. It was almost 3am; probably too late to go marching into Shane’s room. He needed a plan. There must be a way of finding out if Shane had left the USB for him to find or if it had been Declan. He had to find out the truth before he did something he’d regret. It was a long time before Nicky fell asleep.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Shane was alone when he woke up. He sat up and looked around for Declan. His lover wasn’t in the hotel room. Shane forced himself to hold back a sigh of relief, afraid Dec would appear at any moment. He winced as he climbed out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. The shower felt incredible and he longed to wash away the memory of the last few days.

By the time he was ready to go downstairs for breakfast, Declan still hadn’t returned. It wasn’t like him to disappear so early in the morning. Shane didn’t know what to do. Was he supposed to wait for him? The last thing he wanted to do was make Declan angry again. He wished his lover didn’t have such a short fuse but he knew it was also his own fault for pushing his luck. Shane wished he could turn back time and stop the previous day from happening.  
Why had he been so careless? He had known Declan was around but Nicky’s hand had felt so reassuring. It had been wrong to return the gesture but he’d wanted Nicky to know his efforts were appreciated.

Shane’s stomach growled and he decided he needed breakfast. He walked out of the room and headed to the hotel restaurant. Kian and Mark were inside so Shane walked over and joined them.

“Morning lads” Shane greeted them.  
“Morning” they replied.  
“Where’s Dec?” Mark asked.  
“Dunno” Shane shrugged. “I woke up and he was gone”  
“Didn’t say where he was going?” Kian asked.  
“Obviously didn’t want to wake me”  
“So… Everything’s cool?”

Shane paused.  
“Yes” he replied. “Dec was a little on edge yesterday… He’s got a big presentation on Monday and he’s a bit nervous about it”  
“He seems more stressed than usual” Kian said. “Maybe all this travelling back and forth is taking its toll on him”  
“Yeah, maybe” Shane picked up a menu and began reading it.

Kian and Mark exchanged a look but accepted the conversation was over. Shane was still examining the menu when the chair beside his was pulled out and someone sat down.  
“You look like hell” Kian greeted the new arrival.  
“I need coffee” Nicky groaned.  
“Late night?” Mark enquired.

The blonde nodded his head.  
“Fell asleep in front of my computer” Nicky said, carefully watching Shane. The brunette didn’t react.  
“Googling yourself again?” Kian joked.  
“No! Just lost track of time is all”

Shane indicated for a waiter and a young man approached the table. The singer placed his order and pushed his menu aside. Nicky ordered coffee and a meal for himself then the waiter walked away.  
The four singers fell silent. Nicky was aware that Declan hadn’t joined them but didn’t know if he should ask where he was or not. Kian and Mark had resumed eating so the conversation didn’t pick up again.  
The waiter returned and placed a pot of coffee on the table. Nicky and Shane both reached for it at the same time. The younger boy quickly retracted his hand; Nicky raised an eyebrow at him. Shane looked at him, guiltily, as though expecting to be told off.  
Nicky poured a mug for himself then a second one for Shane. He then pushed the cup over to the brunette. Shane smiled, nervously, and then accepted the drink. Kian and Mark exchanged a look but no one spoke about what had just happened.

Their meals arrived and both Nicky and Shane began eating. Kian finished his breakfast, said goodbye to his band mates and left the restaurant. Mark poured himself a cup of coffee and opened the morning paper. Nicky continued to eat in silence but kept watching Shane out the corner of his eye.  
At one point, during the meal, Shane reached out to pick up his coffee. His sleeve rode up, exposing his chaffed wrist. He grabbed the drink and brought it closer. The singer looked up and was relieved to see Mark obscured by the newspaper.

His relief was short lived as he looked at Nicky and saw the blonde staring at him. Shane couldn’t read the expression on his friend’s face but he hoped and prayed the older boy wouldn’t say anything.  
They both resumed eating. Mark remained oblivious to what had transpired. Shane looked down at his plate and knew he wouldn’t be able to eat anything else. He pushed the uneaten food aside, stood up and walked away without a word.

“Shane-” Nicky tried to call him back but the brunette continued to walk away.  
Mark lowered the paper and looked at Nicky.  
“What happened?” he asked. “Where’s he going?”  
“I don’t know”  
“Nicky, I think I was wrong… Something’s wrong with Shane. And you need to find out what it is”  
“Why me? You’ve known him longer”  
“But he trusts you”  
“I think I was right all along…”  
“You’ve changed your mind again?”

Nicky sighed in defeat.  
“I can’t tell you the whole story… Not yet anyway” Nicky explained. “But I really think Dec’s abusing him and Shane’s too scared to ask for help”  
“You said you saw them together and that Shane was happy”   
“I know… I know what I saw yesterday but I also know what I saw last time. You were right to tell me to let it go because I didn’t have proof but all the signs are there”  
“Nicky-”  
“Seriously Mark. Shane’s in trouble! Declan tried to fool me. He set me up; sent me a text from Shane’s phone so I’d go running and I walked in on them together. Dec wanted me to see that so I’d stop thinking he was assaulting Shane”  
“Nix-”  
“Just answer one question for me… Have you ever noticed any injuries on Shane? Bruises or scratches?”  
“I don’t usually look…”  
“You’ve shared a dressing room with him! I saw a bruise on his chest a while back and he said he got it falling off his horse… But it couldn’t have been from that. The angle was all wrong”  
“When did you become an expert on horse riding injuries?”  
“Mark, Please? Just answer the question”

The brunette sighed and caved in.  
“Once… A few months ago; we were sharing a dressing room and I saw him putting sweat bands on his wrists. He was being real subtle about it, trying to hide it from me and all… After the show, I caught sight of him in the mirror and his wrists were… I don’t know how to describe it…”  
“Like he’d been tied up?” Nicky asked.  
“Yeah… And he’d tried to fight it” Mark admitted.  
“You think he was tied up against his will?”

Mark leaned closer, lowering his voice.  
“I’ve being tied up once” Mark admitted “And I trusted the person I was with so I didn’t struggle but Shane’s wrists looked like he struggled a lot”  
Nicky leaned back in the chair, mulling over Mark’s words. He thought back to the way Shane had pulled away from the coffee pot. Nicky bit his lip as he remembered the red marks on his friends’ wrist as he’d picked up his drink.

“I have to go” Nicky said.  
Without uttering another word, Nicky leapt to his feet and hurried from the room. Mark watched him go, his eyebrow raised in confusion. He couldn’t take back what he’d just said but he’d spoken the truth. He’d pushed the thought from his mind long ago but Nicky had asked and he wasn’t going to lie.  
He remembered how ridiculous Nicky had sounded when he’d come to them and admitted that he suspected Declan of mistreating Shane. Now he hated himself for not believing him sooner. Nicky had been right all along. The signs were there, why had they all chosen to ignore them? 

*-*

Nicky raced up the stairs, taking them two at a time. He had to get to Shane and talk to him as soon as possible. The fact that Declan hadn’t joined them for breakfast led him to believe the older boy wasn’t in the hotel. This would mean that Shane was alone right now. Nicky pushed open the door to the stairwell and exited onto their floor.  
He was gasping for breath but didn’t care. He walked to Shane’s room and stopped outside, panting. Once the oxygen had returned to his lungs, Nicky raised his hand and knocked on the door. He waited several minutes then knocked again.  
The door opened, slowly, and Shane’s face appeared before him.

“Nicky… Now isn’t a good time” Shane said to him.  
“This’ll only take a second” Nicky assured him.

The younger boy didn’t move so Nicky used his initiative to push the door open and march into the room. Shane shrank back as the door closed behind his band mate.

“Shane, I’m worried about you” Nicky said to him. “Something is wrong and I need you to tell me what it is”  
“I’m fine, Nicky” Shane insisted. “Really”

“Shay,” Nicky reached out to place his hand on Shane’s shoulder but the younger boy flinched away.  
“See?” Nicky insisted. “Something is wrong! The Shane I knew would never be afraid of me”  
“Well the Nicky I knew wouldn’t stick his nose into other people’s business!” Shane snapped.  
“Is Declan mistreating you? Has he ever raped you?”  
“What? Do you think I’m some pathetic loser who can’t take care of myself?”  
“No-”  
“I love Declan and he loves me. He would never do anything to hurt me! Right now, the only one hurting me is you!”  
“Shane-”  
“I don’t appreciate you coming in here, again, and accusing the man I love of raping me”  
“I… I-”  
“Get out!”  
“Shane”

“You heard him, Nicky”  
The blonde looked up and saw Declan standing in the doorway to the bathroom.  
“Declan” Nicky stated.  
“We would both appreciate it if you’d stop harassing us and leave our room” Dec told him.  
Shane backed away from Nicky and moved closer to Declan. He allowed the older man to move in front of him but continued to look at Nicky.

The blonde didn’t like the way Declan was advancing towards him and he backed up towards the door. As he grabbed the handle, he cast one final look at Shane.  
With Declan’s back turned, Shane’s eyes met with Nicky’s and the brunette mouthed the words ‘I’m sorry’


	10. Chapter 10

Nicky hadn’t meant for things to go the way they had. It hadn’t been his intention to barge into Shane’s room and throw around accusations. He hadn’t expected Shane to react the way he had either but the final factor he hadn’t counted on was Declan being there. He cursed himself for how badly he’d handled the situation. The singer hoped Declan didn’t punish Shane for what he, Nicky, had just done.  
Shane’s apology had brought him a glimmer of hope though. He wished his friend had been more specific but there hadn’t been time. He’d wanted to apologize himself so Declan wouldn’t take it out on Shane but there hadn’t been time.

The blonde returned to his room and went straight to his computer. He turned it on and plugged the USB back in. Shane hadn’t reacted in any way to learning that Nicky had been on his computer half the night so he was going on the belief Declan had dropped the USB for him to find. This meant that these videos were meant to show how happy and content Shane was with the older boy.  
Nicky found the clip he’d fixated on the previous night and opened it. He skipped ahead and paused the clip. All he had to do was show this image to Shane and the brunette would have to tell him the truth. The longer he stared at the picture the more he knew he could never do such a thing. Showing the picture to Shane would mean admitting that he’d watched these videos.

Nicky turned the computer off and pulled the USB from the slot. He tucked it inside his laptop bag then put his computer away too. The singer was even more confused now. Shane still hadn’t asked for his help but he’d seen the fear in the younger boy’s eyes. He should’ve known then that Declan was within ear shot.  
He sat down on the bed, his mind racing. If Declan had left the USB for him then the older man must know now that it hadn’t worked. Nicky was now more determined to prove that Shane was in trouble. The blonde was still trying to decide what to do next when he heard a knock at the door.  
He stood up, crossed the room and opened the door. Kian was standing in the hall.

“We have to go” Kian said to him.  
“Go? Go where?” Nicky asked.  
“Interview”  
“But it’s Saturday”  
“OK Magazine wants an interview today”  
“And we agreed?”  
“Publicity is publicity… Be ready in ten minutes”

On that note, Kian turned and continued down the hall to Shane’s room. Nicky pushed his door to but didn’t close it completely. He listened as Kian knocked on the door and was greeted by Declan.

“Missed you at breakfast” Kian greeted him.  
“Yeah, I had… Something I had to take care of” Declan replied.  
“Uh, anyway… I just need to see Shane”  
“Why?”  
“We have an interview to do”  
“Oh”  
“It won’t take long… I’m sure”

“Ki?” Shane’s voice reached Nicky’s ears.  
“Sorry Shay” Kian said. “OK Magazine wants to see us”  
“But its Saturday” Kian laughed.  
“Nicky said the same thing… Anyway, we have to go… Need to be ready in ten minutes”  
“Okay”

*-*

Declan closed the door and turned to look at Shane.  
“I didn’t know” Shane explained.  
“I know… This happens all the time” Dec replied.  
“Did you want to come with us?”  
“No, I can’t… I have some things to take care of”  
“Like this morning?”  
“Exactly”  
“What were you doing before?”  
“Nothing you need to worry about”

Declan wrapped his arms around Shane and kissed him. The younger boy returned the embrace enthusiastically. His lover broke the embrace and smiled down at him.  
“I probably won’t see you until the show tonight” he said.  
“What? Why?” Shane asked.  
“I have to finish preparing for my meeting on Monday and I have to confirm my flight and other really boring things”  
“So, I won’t see you for dinner?”  
“Probably not… Best you eat with the other lads”  
Shane nodded.  
“Now go… Don’t want to keep them waiting”  
“Right”

Shane kissed him once more then turned and disappeared into the bathroom. Declan smiled to himself. He had a lot of work to do and not much time to do it but it would be worth it. It would be so worth it.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Nicky didn’t attempt to engage in conversation with Shane. He wasn’t entirely sure what to say to his friend. He knew he should apologize but deep down he didn’t want to. He was right about this, he was sure of it. Shane wouldn’t even meet his eye and this sent warning bells off in Mark’s ears.

Once they reached the location, the brunette pulled Nicky aside.  
“What the hell happened?” Mark demanded to know.  
“I… I confronted him”  
“You did what?”  
“I just didn’t think, okay? Anyway, Declan was there… I didn’t see him and I started making a complete fool of myself. Shane yelled at me and told me to leave”  
“Nicky”  
“Declan then tried to intimidate me and right before I left, I saw Shane apologize to me… Don’t you see? We were right?”  
“How can you-?”  
“Shane only reacted the way he did because he knew Declan was there and would hear what he had to say”  
“Are you going to try again? Since he’s not here now?”  
“I don’t know”  
“Nix”  
“I’m sorry Mark but… I’m not just going to blurt it out again. I have to make it look like I believed him… Otherwise if Dec questions him, Shane’ll cave and might get hurt again”  
“Maybe we should just intervene? Keep him away from Dec?”

 

“Nicky? Mark?” Kian shouted. “Come on!”   
“We’ll talk about this later” Mark finished their conversation.  
The two singers then made their way over to their friends.

*-*

The interview was a standard ‘run of the mill’ interview. They were asked about the tour, their album and their personal lives. They were all careful to remain coy about relationships and the interviewer was visibly disappointed. They took a break for lunch then were lead aside to change for a photo shoot.  
Nicky saw the look of anxiousness on Shane’s face. The brunette was the first to reach the clothes rack and located a black, long sleeve shirt. His eyes met with Nicky’s but neither one of them said anything. While Kian and Mark searched the rack, Shane slipped into the bathroom to change his clothes.

Shane stared at his reflection. He could feel tears forming in his eyes but he hastily blinked them back. He’d seen the look of concern in Nicky’s eyes and the pain he’d inflicted when he’d told him to leave. Shane hated himself so much right now. For the entire car trip, Nicky hadn’t even looked at him. He wanted to apologize to him but he was afraid Nicky wouldn’t listen.  
He removed his shirt and picked up the black one he’d selected. Shane took a deep breath, hating that he had to hide from his friends. He knew they wouldn’t understand. They wouldn’t believe him when he told them that Declan really did love him.

By the time he emerged from the bathroom, his three band mates were changed and waiting for him. The photographer led them into the main room and instructed them to sit on the couch. Shane looked around at the extravagant furniture and it occurred to him they were in the honeymoon suite of a very expensive hotel.  
His eyes rested on the door to the bedroom suite and he could see the large, king-sized bed beyond. For the briefest moment, he imagined himself rolling around on the bed with Nicky. The image faded as quickly as it had appeared. That was a fantasy that would never become a reality. Not after the way he’d treated his friend and especially not if Nicky ever learned the truth about him and Declan. He knew his friend was getting dangerously close but he knew Dec would find a way around it. He always did… But it had never been this close before.

“Shane?” the photographer called his name.  
“Sorry” Shane apologized.  
“It’s okay… I was just saying can you put your arm around Nicky’s shoulder? And Kian, you do the same with Mark?”  
Shane’s hand was shaking as he did as he was asked. He knew it would be ridiculous to refuse. He could feel the heat radiating from his friend’s body. His hand gently stroked the skin of Nicky’s neck and the blonde closed his eyes. Shane turned back to face the photographer. They were given more instructions and told to relocate.

The four singers found themselves outside on the balcony, all leaning back against the railing. Shane reached behind Nicky and resting his hand on the railing but as they were instructed to move closer to each other and pose accordingly, Shane’s hand somehow sneaked its way into the back pocket of Nicky’s jeans.

For Nicky, the photo shoot couldn’t be over fast enough. He hoped that by not pulling away from Shane, the younger boy would realize that he wasn’t mad at him for the way he’d acted earlier.  
When the photographer instructed Shane to touch him, Nicky nearly leapt out of his skin. He realized Shane was taking initiative because Declan wasn’t around to stop him. But when he felt Shane’s hand in his back pocket, he wanted to scream.

Shane was giving off so many mixed signals. Nicky told himself that his friend was only doing as the photographer had instructed. But he hadn’t been told to put his hand in Nicky’s pocket. The blonde caught Shane’s eye at one point and smiled at him.  
Shane felt his heart skip a beat. This meant Nicky wasn’t mad at him. He’d hated the way he’d acted towards his friend but he’d had to do it. He was terrified that if Nicky got too close, Declan would hurt him. As long as Shane played his part, Declan wouldn’t hurt anyone else. He knew his lover had a short fuse and needed to vent his frustration from time to time. He didn’t like when Dec used him as a punching bag but Shane figured better it be him than some innocent bystander.

The photo shoot proved to be torturous for the blonde. At times, Shane seemed to become his old self. He laughed and joked with his friends and teased the photographer when they changed cameras but forgot to remove the lens. Kian was the first to jump on the bandwagon, playing along with Shane.  
His three band mates were happy to see him smiling and laughing again. The photographer moved them back inside and provided them with pillows to ‘stage’ a pillow fight. Mark and Nicky were the first to take up the challenge followed by Kian then Shane. Before long, the four of them had collapsed on the floor in a fit of laughter.  
By the time the shoot wrapped, Shane was wiping tears from his eyes. He sat back on the floor, feeling relief at being able to laugh again. He wasn’t sure what had caused him to let go but for several minutes, he allowed himself to be happy and pretend all was right with the world.

Nicky climbed to his feet and looked over at Shane. The sight of his friend on the floor, laughing and wiping happy tears from his eyes brought a stab of pain to the blonde’s heart. He had to restrain himself from grabbing his band mate and telling him everything would be okay. That he could be this happy all the time.  
When Nicky averted his eyes, he saw Mark watching him and smiled reassuringly at him. The brunette nodded his head and made his way over to Kian.  
Nicky offered his hand to Shane and was relieved when his friend accepted it. He helped Shane to his feet and the younger boy looked at him.

“Shay, I’m sorry” Nicky said to him. “I shouldn’t have barged in like that”  
“Forget about it,” Shane replied. “I’m sorry too… I didn’t sleep well last night and was a bit cranky. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you”  
“It happens… So, we’re okay?”  
“We’re okay” Shane nodded.   
Nicky contemplated pushing his luck by hugging his friend but at that moment, Shane’s phone began to ring. The brunette pulled his phone from his pocket and looked at the caller ID.

“It’s Declan” Shane told him.  
He answered the call and hurried away to talk privately.  
“Of course it is” Nicky replied under his breath.

The blonde knew the moment was gone and reluctantly headed towards the bathroom. Mark and Kian were both in there, having a whispered conversation. When they saw Nicky, they immediately stopped talking.  
“Shane’s on the phone” Nicky told them.  
“Declan?” Mark asked. Nicky nodded. “Are you okay?”  
“Why wouldn’t I be?”  
“Nix, we’re not stupid. We saw the way he was acting… He was the same old Shane… The one he’s like when Dec’s not around…”  
“So?” Nicky snapped.  
“Be careful, Nicky” Kian spoke up. “Shane’s all over the place right now but he loves Declan. He may flirt with you when Dec’s not around but he’s in love with him, not you”

Nicky didn’t respond to this. He simply crossed the room, removed his shirt and replaced it with his own. Thankful that he’d left his own jeans on for the shoot, he was able to walk right out of the room. On his way, he passed Shane who was still on the phone. He smiled at his friend but Shane didn’t look at him.  
The blonde walked over to the couch and sat down, waiting for his band mates. He was mad at Kian. He wasn’t going to deny it. He knew Shane was with Dec, he didn’t need Kian reminding him of that fact. The singer found some comfort knowing Mark was on his side though.  
But the more he thought about it, the more it hurt him. Maybe Shane was in trouble and Declan really was abusing him… But at the end of the day, Shane loved him. If Nicky was going to help his friend, he was going to have to break his heart too.


	11. Chapter 11

The drive back to the hotel was almost as awkward as the trip to the interview. Nicky felt he’d been knocked down a peg and couldn’t bring himself to look at Shane. He was also still upset by Kian’s comment and wouldn’t look at him either.  
Shane was quiet for the entire drive and seemed to be withdrawing into himself once more. Mark could only assume it was because they were heading back to the hotel… And to Declan. The singer had started in on Kian for what he’d said to Nicky but Shane had entered the room almost immediately after and Mark had stopped.  
He and Kian had discussed, at length, what they suspected was going on between Shane and Declan. The blonde singer strongly believed that Mark shouldn’t be humoring Nicky; while Mark didn’t understand how Kian could continue to turn a blind eye.

When they reached the hotel, Nicky began his long hike up the stairs while his friends rode the elevator. Shane approached his room, hopeful that Declan was inside. He knocked several times until the door opened and Dec smiled at him.  
“Welcome back” Dec greeted him.  
“Missed you” Shane replied.  
He stepped aside and let Shane enter the room.

“I don’t have a lot of time” Shane said to him. “We have to be at the arena in just over half an hour”  
“I’m just working on my presentation” Declan replied.  
“Well… I was just going to have a shower…” Shane moved closer to the older boy, pressing his body against that of his lover. “Maybe… You’d like to join me?”  
“I could use a break right about now…” He leaned down, his breath caressing Shane’s ear. “Meet you in there?”  
Shane couldn’t speak; he merely nodded his head before breaking the embrace.

He tried not to appear too eager as he made his way towards the bathroom. The singer pushed the door closed behind and began to remove his clothes. He licked his lips with nervous excitement, remembering the first time the two of them had showered together. His cock began to stir but that could have been the residual effects of touching Nicky. He’d long thought his crush on his band mate had subsided but it seemed to have sprung up again without him realizing.  
Shane turned the water on and climbed into the shower. He stood under the flowing water, waiting for his lover to join him. No matter how mad Dec got with him, the older boy was never reckless in the shower. He would hold Shane’s body against his own and make love to him under the constant flow of water. Another time, he’d jerked them both off at the same time.

Shane reached down and took hold of his growing hardness. He did his best not to look at his red wrists. As the water washed over him, he stroked himself, working up a feverish rhythm.  
As his orgasm began to overcome him, he wondered if he should stop but it was too late. He shot his load into his hand, panting for breath. A pair of arms encircled him and he leaned back against Declan as his legs almost gave out beneath him.

“You’re so beautiful when you come” Declan murmured; his voice hardly registering over the water.  
“Wanted to wait for you” Shane said. “But it was over too soon”  
“It’s okay, I liked watching you”

Declan nuzzled his face against Shane’s neck as he rubbed his own hardness along his lover’s crack. The younger boy groaned and leaned his head back, his entire body rocking back against Dec’s.  
“Fuck me” Shane begged.  
“No need to be crude” Dec teased him.  
“Make love to me, please?”  
“Better”

The older boy wrapped his hand around Shane’s cock, causing the brunette to whimper. He smiled and kissed his lover’s neck. Shane began thrusting against Declan’s hand so the older boy gave his own hardness several strokes before focusing on his goal. He rubbed his tip against Shane’s crack, watching it dip inside. Shane moaned the older boy’s name.  
Dec didn’t need any more encouragement. His cock hit its target and he felt the body in his arms trembling. He nipped at Shane’s neck as he thrust inside the younger boy.  
Shane turned his neck, bringing his lips closer to Declan’s. He slipped his hand behind his lover’s neck to deepen the kiss. As Dec’s hardness found his prostate, Shane’s knees buckled.  
Neither one spoke, exchanging kisses and moans for several minutes instead. Shane felt another orgasm approaching and thrust his tongue inside Dec’s mouth as he shot his seed. Shane’s orgasm sent Dec over the edge and he came, shooting deep inside his lover’s ass.  
They remained under the flowing water, both fighting to catch their breath. Declan reached out and turned the water off.

“That was…” Shane panted.  
“Intense” Declan finished.  
“Yeah”

The two men slowly separated and climbed out of the shower. Shane handed a towel to his boyfriend then found one for himself. As he wiped the water from his body, he felt Dec’s eyes on him. He looked up and saw Declan smiling at him.  
“What?” Shane asked.  
“I just… I never tire of watching you come” Declan said. Shane felt himself blushing. “Don’t be embarrassed. You look so beautiful”  
Shane managed a small smile.

“God, I can’t wait till we get back here after tonight’s show” Declan stated as he pulled on his pants.  
“Why is that?” Shane asked.  
“I’m going home tomorrow… It’s our last night together for a week”  
“Well, we’re going to have to make ever second count”  
“Oh, I intend to”  
Shane felt a shiver of unease shoot down his spine.  
“What… Uh… What have you got in mind?” Shane asked.  
“Shhh” Declan wrapped his arms around the younger boy and kissed his deeply. “It’s a surprise”

On that note, Declan released Shane then turned and left the bathroom. The door swung closed behind him. Shane felt his knees give out once again and grabbed the sink to support himself. The last time Dec had been so happy about a surprise, Shane had been forced into a threesome. He hoped, and prayed, it wouldn’t come to that again.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Declan didn’t travel to the arena with them. Shane was quiet for the entire trip and Nicky couldn’t help being worried. The blonde was more confused then ever at the moment. He’d returned to his hotel room and changed his clothes. As he’d moved to put his jeans away, he’d found a room key in his back pocket. The singer knew it wasn’t his as he kept his key in his wallet.  
Nicky wasn’t sure how it had gotten there or who it belonged to… But he suspected. The key had ended up in the pocket Shane had slipped his hand into. Nicky wondered if Shane had purposely put it there.  
The blonde didn’t tell Kian and Mark of the discovery nor did he mention it to Shane. He wasn’t sure if it may have been another set up or not but the last thing he wanted to do was walk in on Declan and Shane again.  
Kian noticed something was off with Shane’s behavior but wasn’t game enough to question him again. The fact that Declan had been ‘busy’ all day struck him as odd but again, he wasn’t brave enough to ask Shane about it. 

The two of them were sitting in the dressing room, waiting for their cue to head to the stage when there was a knock at the door. Kian was closer and opened it.  
“Declan” Kian said. “I haven’t seen you all day!”  
“Been busy but I’m free now” Declan said as he stepped into the room. He wasn’t alone. Kian eyed the newcomer.  
“Oh, Kian… This is Tristan” 

Shane’s back was to the door so he hadn’t realized Declan had a friend with him. Alarm bells began to ring in the brunette’s ears. He turned around and smiled at his lover.  
Kian ushered them both inside and shook hands with Tristan. They made small talk while Declan walked over to Shane and kissed him.

“This is a surprise” Shane said, looking at Tristan over Dec’s shoulder.  
“He really wanted to see the show” Declan replied.  
“Oh”  
“And I thought, maybe he could come back to the hotel for a drink?”  
“But Dec, it’s our last night together”  
“I know… And we want it to be fun, right?”  
“Fun?” Shane whispered, grabbing hold of Declan’s arm. “You… You thought that was fun?”  
Dec placed his hand over Shane’s.  
“Of course” Declan whispered, pressing his lips to Shane’s forehead. “And I went out today and brought all new toys”  
Shane’s face paled. “No, please Dec!”

Knock! Knock!  
The door opened and Mark popped his head into the room.  
“Oh, hi Dec” Mark greeted him. “Shane, Kian… Show time!”

Kian smiled, said goodbye to Declan and Tristan then grabbed Shane’s arm. The older boy seemed unable to move or speak. His face was very pale. Kian began to lead him from the room. Shane stumbled along beside him.

“Hey, Shane?” Kian whispered. “Are you okay?”  
Shane nodded his head. He continued following Mark and Nicky towards backstage. They stopped in the wings and hugged each other for good luck. Shane’s arms felt like dead weights but he managed to focus enough to kiss Nicky’s cheek. The blonde cocked his eyebrow at Shane but there wasn’t time to question his friend’s actions.

The lights had gone down and the audience was screaming. Shane pushed all thoughts of what was to come from his mind and marched out on stage. Ever the professional, he poured his heart and soul into giving the best performance he could.  
At one point of the show, during the medley, he decided to re-enact something he’d not done for some time. He didn’t care how Declan would react; he threw himself onto Nicky’s back and hugged him as the blonde piggy backed him across the stage. When Nicky put him down, Shane hugged him.

As the song came to an end, Shane looked down into the crowd and spotted Declan and Tristan. His lover looked mad but, for once, Shane didn’t care. He already knew the kind of punishment he was in for tonight. Shane had already decided that he was going to be punished so he might as well enjoy himself in the meantime.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Nicky didn’t know what had gotten into Shane but it was a relief to see his friend so happy again. During the walk to the stage, his band mate looked as though he was about to pass out but the second he stepped foot onstage he became a whole new person. The Shane Nicky loved playing around with onstage had surfaced and Nicky, along with Mark and Kian, decided to go along with it.  
The blonde had caught sight of Declan’s face when he was piggybacking Shane across the stage. In that second, Nicky knew if looks could kill then he’d be six feet under by now.  
He didn’t know what had brought this change on in Shane but he hoped it would stay. During the show, Nicky sneaked several peeks at Declan and the older boy appeared to be getting angrier and angrier. Nicky hoped Shane wasn’t purposely getting him riled up.

As soon as they took their final bows and ran backstage, Declan was waiting outside the dressing room. Shane changed in record time and walked out to his lover and Tristan. Nicky was still on the way inside his dressing room when Shane emerged from his. He caught Nicky’s eye as he walked towards Declan.  
Nicky watched Shane walk down the hall with Declan and Tristan. An uneasy feeling was growing in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t see Shane again that night.

*-*

The shrill sound of the phone caused Nicky to jerk away. He sat up, his eyes unaccustomed to the darkness in the room. The blonde fumbled for the hotel phone, his eyes registering the time. 3 am. He groaned, cursing whoever was calling him at this hour.

“Hello?” Nicky groaned into the receiver.  
At first he couldn’t hear anything.  
“Hello?” he tried again. Then he heard it.  
“Nicky?” The blonde was suddenly wide awake.  
“Shane?”  
“Help me” the words were barely audible through Shane’s sobs. There was no mistaking the pain in his voice. “Please? Help Me”


	12. Chapter 12

Nicky was out of bed and struggling to pull his jeans on before he even realized he’d hung up the phone. He picked up a stray shirt and grabbed the nearest shoes he could find, for once not caring that they didn’t match. He picked up, what he believed to be, the key for Shane’s room, and then grabbed his own key. As he reached for the door knob, he stopped. His hand remained frozen in mid-air.  
What was he really doing? Was this really what he thought it was or was it yet another elaborate hoax? He’d been tricked before, how could he be sure it wasn’t about to happen again. He lowered his hand and took a step back, mulling over his thoughts.  
Shane had sounded upset, he couldn’t dispute that. But could he be sure it was genuine and not an act? What if Declan had put Shane up to it? What other reason could there be for Shane having the foresight to slip his key into Nicky’s pocket?  
Unless, Nicky reasoned, Shane had finally reached the end of his tether. Could his friend have suspected something was going to happen and had smuggled his key to Nicky as a backup plan?

The blonde hated that he was wasting time. If Shane really did need him right now, then the longer he stood here was more time that Shane was alone. He took a deep breath and slowly released it. He had to face the facts. If he didn’t go then he would never know.  
He opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. The singer quietly made his way to his friend’s room and slipped the key card into the lock. He saw the green light and knew this would be the moment of truth. Visions of Declan jumping out at him sprung to mind but he pushed them aside. Collecting his courage, Nicky pushed the door open and was met with sudden darkness. The hair on the back of his neck began to tingle. He instantly feared the worst. Not wanting Dec to have the element of surprise, Nicky flicked the light on.

At first, nothing happened. No one grabbed him, no one yelled at him. His eyes adjusted to the light and focused on the bed. The sight before him made him want to yell but he managed to control himself.

“Shane” Nicky gasped.

The brunette’s eyes met with Nicky’s as tears spilled down his cheeks. Shane’s quiet sobs overtook him and became wracking cries of pain, humiliation and relief. Nicky’s brain seemed to shut down and his feet turned to stone.

“Nix” Shane cried.

The sound broke through Nicky’s defenses and snapped him out of it. He turned and bolted the door, to stop any unwanted guests, then made his way to Shane’s side. The younger boy must have used all his willpower and determination to reach the telephone for he was lying at an odd angle, one arm handcuffed to the bed head and the other still clutching the phone.

“Shay” Nicky whispered. “It’s okay… I’m here… You’re going to be okay”  
Nicky moved to Shane’s side and took the phone from his hand. He replaced the receiver then began searching for a key to the cuffs.  
“Shay…” he began. “Where’s the key?”  
“I… I don’t… Don’t know” Shane cried. “They might still have it”  
“They? You mean Dec….”  
“Had help”  
“Oh Shay”

Nicky reached out and gently stroked his friend’s cheek, wiping several tears aside. He examined his friend once more, unsure of how he’d managed to get himself into such a position without injuring his hand or breaking the handcuffs.  
“Nicky?” Shane sobbed. “Please? Please, take it off”  
“Shane… How…” Nicky stammered. “Without the key how can I?”  
The brunette shook his head. “Not the cuffs…”

Shane appeared to sob even harder as closed his eyes, unable to look at his friend. Nicky watched as the brunette shifted his body to lie on his back. That was when he saw it.  
“Shane…” Nicky gasped. “I… No… I…”  
“Please” Shane begged, tears of humiliation rolling down his cheeks.  
Unable to do anything else for his friend, Nicky reluctantly nodded his head. Then he remembered Shane wasn’t looking at him.  
“Okay” Nicky whispered. “I… I… Okay”

With shaking hands and trembling fingers Nicky reached towards his friend. He briefly wondered if there was someway he could distract the brunette but nothing acceptable sprung to mind.  
“Can you… Will you tell me what happened?” Nicky asked him.  
“I’m sorry” Shane sobbed. “Please, forgive me Nix”  
“There’s nothing to forgive Shay”

Nicky tried to keep his voice even and focus more on what he was saying rather than what he was doing. He thought of all the times he’d imagined what Shane would look like, naked and tied up, and hated himself. The reality shouldn’t have been this shocking. Shane shouldn’t be crying or covered in bruises.  
The blonde had also never intended for him to be removing a cock ring the first time he touched Shane’s cock. Once the item had been removed, Nicky threw it aside, never wanting to see it ever again.  
“Thank you” Shane whispered.  
Nicky didn’t speak. He reached out and gently touched the bruise on Shane’s chest. The younger boy’s eyes flew open and he looked up at his friend with a look of utter defeat on his face. Nicky quickly retracted his hand.

“Knife” Nicky stated. “Your pocket knife… Do you still keep it in your suitcase?”  
Shane nodded his head.  
Nicky climbed off the bed and crossed the room. He dropped to the floor in front of Shane’s suitcase and began rummaging through the contents. Under other circumstances he would have felt terrible pouring through Shane’s belongings. But these were extreme circumstances. He found the knife and hurried back to his friend. Shane was attempting to cover himself with the sheet. Nicky didn’t have the heart to tell him it was too late to worry about modesty.

The blonde sat down on the bed and started searching the contents of the Swiss army knife. He knew he wasn’t likely to find a bobby pin but pulled out a solid toothpick. Nicky decided it was worth a try and slipped it inside the lock. Neither one of them spoke as Nicky attempted to pick the lock. Several tense minutes passed.  
“It’s not gonna work” Shane whispered.  
“Yeah” Nicky replied. He stopped and put the knife and toothpick down. “Are you sure they… Uh… Dec didn’t leave it here somewhere?”  
Shane shook his head. “I… I don’t know… I wasn’t… I wasn’t watching”  
“Okay”  
Nicky gently petted Shane’s shoulder before standing up. He walked around the bed and looked over the items on the table. Several objects made him shiver and he hoped Shane hadn’t been subjected to any of them… But he suspected he had. When he didn’t find a key, he moved on. He checked the floor, incase it had been dropped; still nothing.  
As he turned around, he saw something on the floor, tucked under the duvet. He dropped to his knees and pushed the sheets aside.

“Gotcha!” Nicky said.  
He stood up and hurried to the head of the bed. The blonde slid the key into the lock and heard it click. He unlatched them and carefully lowered Shane’s arm down to the bed.  
“Thank you” Shane whispered.   
“Shay,” Nicky sat down on the edge of the bed. “What happened?”  
“Nothing”   
“Shane-”  
“Not right now… Please Nicky?”

 

The older boy wanted to grab Shane by the shoulders and shake him. He wanted to demand answers from him but the brunette looked so drained and broken that Nicky didn’t have the heart. Unsure of what else to do, Nicky stood up and walked over to Shane’s suitcase. He began throwing all of Shane’s possessions inside it. The blonde didn’t say a word as he packed the case. He then went into the bathroom and found Shane’s shaving kit and toothbrush. He returned to the main room and put them into the suitcase.  
He sensed Shane moving on the bed and looked up, into the mirror. Shane’s hands were shaking as he attempted to move, reaching for something.

“Shane?” Nicky spun around. “What are you doing?”

The brunette collapsed in a fit of tears. Nicky ran to him and pulled the younger boy into his arms. Shane grabbed a fistful of the blonde’s shirt and sobbed against his chest.  
“Shay?” Nicky asked. “What were you trying to do?”  
“I… I… Didn’t want you to see” Shane cried.  
“See what?”  
He’d already seen Shane, naked and handcuffed to a bed while wearing a cock ring. What else could he possibly see? Shane was trembling as he closed his eyes and reached down underneath the sheet. It shifted as he moved. Nicky watched his friend’s face, using all his willpower not to look anywhere else. When Shane’s hand emerged he was holding a butt plug.

Nicky didn’t react. He didn’t say a word either. Instead, he reached out and wrapped his arms around his friend. Shane dropped the object onto the bed and slid his arms around Nicky’s waist. He closed his eyes and allowed his tears to continue to flow.  
“I’ve got you” Nicky assured him. “You’re safe now”  
“You were right, Nix”  
“I didn’t want to be”  
“He loves me… He just… Has trouble showing it”

The older boy didn’t know how to respond to that. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been in Shane’s room but he was starting to worry that Declan would come back any minute. Shane appeared to read his thoughts.  
“You shouldn’t be here when he gets back” Shane said.  
“What?” Nicky gasped.  
“You have to go… I… I don’t know what he’ll do if he finds you here”

Nicky pulled away from Shane and stared into his eyes. He placed his hand on the brunette’s cheek and wiped the tears aside.  
“I’m not leaving you here, Shay” Nicky insisted.  
“But I can’t leave” Shane said. “If he comes back and finds me gone… He’ll be furious with me”  
“I don’t care!”  
“Nix-”  
“No! Shane, you’re not going to talk your way out of this one. You’re coming with me, back to my room, if I have to carry you there myself”

Shane looked over at the clock.  
“They’ll be back soon” Shane said. “They usually call last drinks around now”  
Nicky nodded then stood up again. He picked up a pair of sweat pants and a shirt and tossed them onto the bed. Shane reached for them and hastily dressed himself while Nicky closed his suitcase and picked it up.  
“You slipped me your key” Nicky said. “Didn’t you?”  
“Yeah” Shane admitted.  
“Why?”  
“I don’t know… Something just didn’t feel right. I’d planned on telling Dec I‘d lost it… So that he wouldn’t know”

Nicky returned to Shane’s side and helped his friend to his feet.  
“Come on” Nicky said. “We’d better hurry”

*-*-*-*

Declan stumbled out of the elevator, Tristan by his side. He hadn’t been this drunk for a long time. Drunk and horny… Always a fun combination. His cock was stirring as he thought of his young lover. He’d made sure Shane had gotten a good ‘seeing to’ after the way he’d behaved during the concert. But now he was even hornier.  
He suddenly remembered how he’d prepared Shane for his return. The image of Shane, cuffed to the bed wearing a cock ring and butt plug almost caused him to mess his pants then and there.

“What’s the plan now?” Tristan asked. His eyes were twinkling with excitement.  
“I’m open to suggestions….” Declan replied. “Shane’s been such a bad boy and loves his punishments”  
“I’d like to see him filled from both ends again… Riding your cock and sucking mine”  
“We could share him again… It was so hot watching him take both our cocks at once”  
“It was… Wasn’t it?”

Dec stopped and slid the key into the lock. He pushed the door open and went inside, Tristan following close behind. The room was still pitch black, Declan smiled to himself. Shane would be good and ready for them by now. He turned the light on and was met with the sight of an empty bed.

 

“Fuck!” Declan screamed.  
“What happened, Dec?” Tristan asked. “Where did he go? He couldn’t have gotten out on his own… Could he?”  
“No… He had help”  
“How do you know that?”

Declan surveyed the room, trying his best to control his temper.  
“Get out” he said to Tristan.  
“What?”  
“Go, get a cab and go home”  
“What about you?”  
“Forget about me, forget this ever happened…”

Tristan took a step towards his friend as a feeling of unease washed over him.  
“Declan… What’s this all about?” he asked.  
“Nothing… It doesn’t concern you”  
“Dec, did we do something wrong?”  
“No… Shane just likes to play games sometimes. He’ll come back in the morning and everything will be fine”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Of course, Shane loves me. He needs me”  
Tristan sighed. “Wow, I wish I had someone like that in my life”  
“I’m just lucky I guess”  
“You sure are…”

“And you’re sure everything is okay?” Tristan asked, one last time.  
“You know what they say, treat ‘em mean keep ‘em keen” Declan smiled. “Like I said, Shane loves his punishments… Always begging me for more”  
“Can’t I stay then? Help you out a bit?”  
“It’s probably best you go… If he’s gone to one of his friends then there’s gonna be hell to pay… They don’t like the games we play”  
“Ever thought of letting them play too?”  
“Nope… You’re just a lucky son of a bitch who got to play with us”  
“Lucky me”  
“I just hope when you find someone who trusts you like Shane does me… You’ll remember to share and share alike?”  
“Of course, Dec… After all, it’s only fair”

With that, Tristan left the room, closing the door behind him. Declan surveyed the room, found his cuffs and the key and put them in his suitcase. He walked over to the bed and sat down.  
Shane had left him before and he always came back but Dec knew this time was different. He quickly weighed his options. Should he stick it out and hope the young man came back or should he pack his bags and disappear into the night?


	13. Chapter 13

Nicky couldn’t stop nervously pacing the length of the hotel room. There wasn’t much space for it but the blonde made do. As long as he could hear the water running, he was content to pace. He did several more strides across the room before finally giving up and collapsing on the bed. He instantly felt some of the tension seep out of him as he rested his back against the mattress.  
He closed his eyes in a bid to hold back his tears. Tears of regret, shame, relief… They were all there and desperate to break free but he remained strong. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, allow Shane to see him cry. Not yet anyway.  
The blonde heard the shower stop and he sat up. The clock beside the bed read well past four thirty but Nicky was still wide awake. Sleep was the last thing on his mind. He was also slightly on edge, half expecting Declan to come knocking at his door any minute.

The bathroom door opened and Shane tentatively emerged. He looked so lost and confused that Nicky wanted to reach over and hug him but he refrained, unsure of how Shane would react. The brunette, now dressed in sweatpants and a loose fitting long sleeved shirt, stared at his friend with a haunted look in his eyes.  
Nicky didn’t speak. He simply shifted his body away from Shane, making room for him on the bed. He then indicated for the younger boy to sit down. Shane’s movements were slow and careful. He climbed onto the bed, picked up one of the pillows and hugged it to his chest.

Shane averted his eyes and stared down at the bed. He couldn’t stand the way Nicky was looking at him. There was so much pity in his eyes. Shane didn’t need his friend reminding him how pathetic he was… But he couldn’t bring himself to voice this to Nicky.  
He held the pillow to him and buried his face in it. Unaware of his actions, he inhaled and immediately regretted it. The pillow smelt like Nicky. The older boy slowly reached out and placed a comforting hand on Shane’s shoulder. The brunette slapped it away.

“Don’t” Shane begged. “Please, don’t”  
“Shay, I’m just worried about you” Nicky whispered.  
“Don’t be… I… I did this to myself”  
“How can you say that?”  
“I knew he’d be mad… But I provoked him”  
“Shay-”

The brunette looked up and locked eyes with Nicky.  
“He loves me, Nicky” Shane insisted. “I… I shouldn’t have left like that”  
“Shane, you couldn’t have stayed… Not after what he did to you”

“No, Nicky… He… We were just playing…” Shane said. “And… Sometimes he gets carried away but he never really means it. He… He always says sorry… Unless I do something to deserve it”  
“What could you possibly do to deserve something like that?”

Shane shrugged and hugged the pillow tighter. He knew Nicky wouldn’t understand.  
“Shay,” Nicky whispered. “Talk to me… Please? I… I want to know what’s going on… What happened? What did he do to you?”  
“It… Nix… No relationship is perfect…”  
“This… What you and he have…? That’s not a relationship, Shay”  
“How would you know? When was the last time you loved someone?”

Nicky didn’t know how to reply to that. Now wasn’t the time for the truth. He knew he couldn’t just blurt out to Shane how much he loved him. Not when the brunette was so emotionally unstable.

“You said I was right…” Nicky began. “Shane, please? I need you to tell me the truth… I… I deserve to know the truth. I know I haven’t exactly been fair to you these past few weeks but… You called me at three in the morning, crying and in pain, and I went running to help you. All I ask is for you to tell me how things got this way”  
“Nix-”  
“Please, Shay? I swear to you, I… I won’t judge you or blame you in any way… Just, tell me? Please?”

Shane closed his eyes as more tears spilled down his cheeks. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this trapped. There was no way around this and, truthfully, he’d been waiting a long time to finally talk to someone about it. He just wished it wasn’t Nicky. He’d never wanted his friend to know the truth…  
But he’d brought this on himself when he’d made the decision to phone Nicky and ask for his help. He may love Declan but he trusted Nicky more than any one else. The singer had known that Nicky would come to his aid.

“It wasn’t always like this” Shane whispered. “He was so kind, sweet, gentle… He was patient and understanding… I felt bad about hiding our relationship but I wasn’t ready to come out… And we took a big risk. Luckily we were never caught… But he was accepting of it. I think it got to him sometimes but the majority of the time, he was okay… The first time we… We made love… He held me in his arms and told me that he loved me. I believed him when he said he’d always love and protect me. I felt so safe in his arms…”  
Shane stopped long enough to wipe the tears from his eyes.

 

“It went on like that for a few months. He lost his temper with me once but he’d had a long, stressful day at work and wanted to go out and relax… And obviously we couldn’t because we could be seen. He was really hurt and he slapped me… It was over so fast and I was shocked that he’d done it but he apologized and he… He cried and promised he’d never do it again. He told me he loved me and was sorry. He cried when we made love later that night”  
Shane wouldn’t look at Nicky as he spoke. He didn’t want to see his friend’s reaction. He stared down at his hands and started toying with the corner of the pillowcase.

“A few weeks later… It was our anniversary and he got me a present… A pair of handcuffs…” Shane choked back a sob, flinching at the memory. “I told him that I wasn’t into that kinda thing… That it made me uncomfortable… But he said I should trust him and that… If I didn’t trust him then I obviously didn’t love him… I told him that I loved him but I just didn’t want to be restrained… He tricked me by saying it was okay… Then, once we were in bed, he cuffed me and had sex with me. I begged him to unlock them but he wouldn’t… Afterwards, he said I should have just listened to him and trusted that he wouldn’t hurt me but the damage was done…”  
“But you stayed with him” Nicky whispered.  
“I did… He didn’t use the cuffs again… I tried not to think about it anymore. Then, one night, after one of our shows… He came into our room, slightly drunk, and really mad. He said that I’d been flirting with… With you… During the show and that he was a jealous man… I told him he had nothing to worry about and that you and I are just friends but he didn’t believe me. He started accusing me of cheating on him. I told him I’d never do something like that but he didn’t believe me… So he beat me instead”  
Nicky wanted to say something reassuring but his voice seemed to have vacated his body.  
“I begged him to stop, kept saying no and pleading with him but he said he needed to teach me a lesson and he fucked me… Afterwards, he came to his senses and told me he was sorry…. That the thought of me with someone else really upset him and that he hadn’t meant to hurt me. I tried to leave but he kissed me and told me how much he loved me… And how much he needed me…” 

“Shane,” Nicky began.   
“I believed him, Nix. I loved him and wanted to see the good in him. When he loved me, it was magical… He treated me like I was the centre of his universe… But when he lost control or got mad… Then it was a different story… The good times always outweighed and outnumbered the bad ones and I didn’t want to leave him… It wasn’t always pleasant when he hit me but I… I…”  
“Learned to live with it”  
Shane nodded.  
“Why?”  
“I was too scared to say anything… Too ashamed of what I let him get away with. Nicky, when you walked in on us… I thought I was saved! But I was too scared to do anything… I didn’t want you to know what was really going on…” Shane released the pillow and lay down on his side, curling himself into a ball. “I was ashamed of how you’d react when you found out the things I let him do to me”

“Oh Shane” Nicky whispered.  
He moved closer to his friend and reached out his hand. He gently touched Shane’s shoulder and lightly stroked it, offering his support.  
“I would never be ashamed of you” Nicky insisted.  
“I… I saw the look on your face… You were disgusted at what we were doing”  
“Shay, he was raping you… Of course I was disgusted… But at him, not you”  
“I’m sorry” Shane sobbed, looking up at his friend. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth then”  
“You were scared” Shane nodded his head.

“I tried to convince him that you weren’t going to get involved but he said you were just causing trouble because you wanted to break us up” Shane continued. “He was worried that I was going to leave him for you and wanted to remind me that I was his… He decided to take me to meet his friend, Tristan… Said he had a big surprise planned… Turned out, he’d been bragging to Tristan that he had a ‘famous’ boyfriend and wanted to show me off… At first, I wasn’t sure what he meant but he… He’d planned to let Tristan watch us have sex…”  
“He said it would be fun… But Dec had brought the cuffs and they tied me up. He’d wanted Tristan to see how much I loved and trusted him so I had to go along with it… I was worried that if I messed up, he’d punish me later…”  
Shane changed his position, moving closer to Nicky until their bodies were almost touching.  
“When he told me what he had planned, I begged him not to go through with it but he insisted… I had no choice so I agreed to let him cuff me. It felt like hours… It might have only been minutes, I don’t know… I couldn’t see a clock… They took turns. I… I sucked Declan off while Tristan watched; Dec fucked me while I sucked Tristan; They…” Shane closed his eyes and bit back another sob. “They both fucked me at the same time… I could feel them both inside me and I… I just wanted to be sick… I hated myself so much for letting them do that, for allowing Dec to talk me into it… Even though he wouldn’t take no for an answer…”  
“I tried to act like everything was okay but it was all too much… It was one thing when he was being a… unreasonable from time to time but to let one of his friends have sex with me? I… I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t know who to turn to”  
“I didn’t want to admit what had happened so I hoped and prayed it wouldn’t happen again. Dec said it wouldn’t… That he didn’t like sharing me… That he hadn’t intended on letting Tristan… Participate… I didn’t know what to do… Then, during rehearsals I fell and you helped me. Dec saw and I knew he was going to be mad… We went to the dressing room and I was just waiting for him to lash out but we talked and… And…”  
“And he was good to you? Treated you right and made sure you had a good time?”  
“How did you know that?” Shane asked, sitting up and looking at Nicky.

Nicky sighed. He decided it was only fair. Shane was being completely honest with him, now it was his turn.  
“Because I walked in and saw it” Nicky admitted.  
“You what?” Shane gasped.  
“I was heading to tea with Mark and Ki… And I got a text message from you, telling me to go to your dressing room… So I did. I was worried that Dec had seen me with you and had hurt you… So I went to the dressing room and heard music playing… I opened the door and saw him… y’know?”  
“I didn’t send you any message, Nicky”  
“I know… Declan sent it from your phone. He set me up so I’d see you having a good time with him and forget what I’d initially seen… And it worked too”  
“It did?”  
“Yeah, I realized I’d been wrong all along and that he was being good to you… That I was only seeing what I wanted to see because I was jealous”  
“Jealous?”  
“But you and Dec had a disagreement, in the hotel bar?”

“Yeah… I didn’t know why you were upset with me (now I know) and he said it didn’t matter… Then he said some things that got me worked up and I snapped… He wasn’t expecting me to stand up to him but I panicked and tried to apologize… We got up to our room and he… He tied me up and raped me… He kept saying he didn’t enjoy hurting me and that I was making him do it… That I should behave better so he wouldn’t have to hurt me.  
“Yesterday morning, when you came to my room… I wanted to tell you the truth but Dec was there and I was afraid… I hated myself for the things I said to you and the way I treated you.  
“During the photo shoot, I’d wanted to apologize but I thought you were mad at me… And I couldn’t blame you if you had been… Then, we were on the balcony and I just… I just… Dec hadn’t been around and I didn’t know where he’d gone or why… This irked me and I was scared… So when I saw the opportunity, I took it… I still don’t even know why I did it but I put my key into your pocket”  
“It was lucky you did”  
“I know…”

“Luckily, when we got back, Dec was in our room so I didn’t need the key. I decided I needed to remind him how much I loved him so I… Well, you don’t need the details but we had sex and he was the old Dec, the one I fell in love with… The one who made me feel special and loved… Then he said he had something special planned for last night…  
When he turned up for the show with Tristan, I freaked out”  
“That’s why you looked so scared when we were heading for the stage!”  
Shane nodded.  
“He said Tristan was going to come back to the hotel for drinks… And some fun. Even said he’d brought new toys…”  
“But you came alive during the show… Shane, you gave the best performance I’d ever seen you give”  
“I figured I had nothing left to lose. Dec was going to do… Unimaginable things to me afterwards… So I said ‘stuff it’. If I was going to have to suffer later, I was going to enjoy it while I could”

“What happened when you got back here?”  
“Drinks… Declan was mad at me but he wasn’t going to hit me in front of Tristan”  
“Why didn’t you just refuse? Or not leave with them?”  
Shane shrugged his shoulders.  
“I’d hoped he wasn’t going to go through with it” Shane said. “But… Well, you saw what they did to me… They took turns fucking me… I begged him to stop and he gagged me… They did this for hours… Then Dec decided he needed a break so he put the ring on me and stuck the plug inside, so I’d be ready for them when they got back… But as soon as they were gone, I just broke down… It took me forever to reach the phone…”

Shane broke down once again, tears spilling down his cheeks. It was almost a relief, to finally let the whole story out. Everything he’d been hiding for all these months was finally coming out and Nicky wasn’t looking at him in disgust. He looked up and saw tears in his friend’s eyes.  
Nicky didn’t say anything more. He just reached out for Shane. The brunette didn’t even think, he just collapsed in Nicky’s arms and sobbed against his friend’s chest.

“It’s over now, Shane” Nicky said to him.  
“Dec’ll come for me” Shane replied. “I know he will”  
“He won’t get you… He’s not getting you back, I won’t let him”  
“Nix-”  
“No, Shay… You’re safe now. He’s not going to hurt you ever again”

“You promise?” Shane whispered.  
“Yes, Shane… I promise you…” Nicky insisted. “As long as I’m here, he’ll never touch you again”


	14. Chapter 14

Nicky was watching the clock as the numbers changed and now read 6am. After Shane had tearfully shared his story, the blonde had wrapped his arms around his friend and simply held him in a protective embrace while he cried. They hadn’t spoken since and more than an hour had passed. Shane didn’t know what to say and Nicky was afraid of saying the wrong thing.  
He’d already made a promise to his friend to keep him safe and while they lay together in the dark, his words were very powerful. Come morning, Shane knew Declan would come to him and beg him to come back. In Nicky’s arms, he felt safe and able to confront Dec but he knew that once the older boy was standing before him, his resolve wouldn’t be as strong. He really loved Declan and had always believed that Dec loved him in return.

Despite the lateness of the hour, neither one of them had slept. Shane, his head resting on Nicky’s chest, could feel the blonde’s heart beating. He found the sound very soothing; a gentle reminder that he wasn’t alone. He wasn’t completely sure why Nicky hadn’t walked away from him yet. His friend knew the whole story now, Shane having shared practically every detail with him, and the blonde had stayed with him.  
He told himself that he was in Nicky’s room. So, in reality, Nicky had had to stay because he’d had nowhere else to go. But Shane knew that wasn’t true. The older boy could easily have gone to Kian or Mark… Or worse, he could have just told Shane to leave.  
But no, Nicky had listened as Shane poured his heart out to him and instead of running away, he had taken Shane into his arms and comforted him. Shane shifted his body, feeling slightly restless. He felt Nicky’s hand in his hair, offering a gentle and soothing touch.

“You’re still awake?” Shane asked him.  
“Yeah” Nicky replied. “So are you”  
“Honestly? I’m exhausted but I’m not tired”  
“I’m scared to sleep”  
“You are? Why?”  
“I’m afraid that if I go to sleep, you won’t be here when I wake up”  
“I thought the same thing” Shane admitted.  
“You can’t go back to him, Shane” Nicky whispered.  
“I meant you, Nix… I was worried that you’d leave me… Now that you know the truth… About everything”  
“Why would I leave you?”  
Shane was still lying in Nicky’s arms, the blonde hadn’t moved in any way. He was still stroking his fingers through Shane’s dark locks. Shane closed his eyes as he spoke.  
“Because you *know everything*… What I let him do to me… And because of the way I treated you… All you wanted to do was help me and I kept pushing you away”  
“But there was a reason for that; you were scared. Declan manipulated you, Shay”  
“And I let him do it”  
“No, you didn’t”  
“Don’t, Nix… You don’t have to make up excuses. I know what I let him get away with but I won’t anymore. If he wants me back, he’ll have to treat me better”  
“Oh Shane…”  
Nicky broke off before he could say anything further. He didn’t want to believe that Shane would even consider going back to the man who had hurt him.  
“I love him, Nicky” Shane tried to explain. “And he can be good. I know it”  
“Shane, I’m… I don’t know what to say… I don’t want to see you get hurt again… What if nothing changes? What will you do the next time you need my help and I don’t have a key to your room?”

Shane finally sat up, pulling away from his friend.  
“Why would you even care?” Shane asked.  
“You’re my best friend! Of course I’m going to care. Do you really think going back to him is the best choice? If he really loved you, he wouldn’t hurt you. There’s no excuse for what he did to you… No matter how you try to spin it”  
“I let him do those things Nicky”  
“No, you didn’t! You said yourself, you always told him no but he wouldn’t listen”  
“I… I…”  
“You deserve so much better than him, Shay. You’re an amazing, wonderful, beautiful man and you deserve someone who will treat you the way you should be treated. You should have someone who will love you for being you and will love you with all his heart, not just when it suits him. You deserve someone who will make love to you every chance he gets, not rape you whenever he feels like it”  
Shane felt tears forming in his eyes as he listened to the words Nicky spoke.  
“What makes you think I really deserve all that?” he asked. “Who could possibly love me after all this? I’m used goods, I’m broken and damaged”  
“You just think that, Shane…. But it’s not true. Maybe you are broken right now but you’re still beautiful”  
“You’re just saying that because you’re my friend and have to care”

Nicky knew it wasn’t the best time to be saying these words but he needed to make Shane listen to and believe him. He reached out and placed his hand on his friend’s arm.  
“I’m saying this because I love you” Nicky insisted.  
He felt Shane’s body tense but he didn’t remove his hand.  
“I never said anything because I wasn’t sure how you’d react… Then we started to suspect that you were with Declan… And that’s why I never really liked him. I was jealous… Plain and simple. I was jealous of him because he had you and I didn’t… When I saw what he was doing to you, I wanted to kill him. I saw the tears on your face and heard the fear in your voice and I just wanted to make it stop… I didn’t want him to hurt you… So I was determined to prove he was being abusive towards you. I’d hoped that if I proved he wasn’t the all-around-nice-guy Kian and Mark thought he was then we’d be able to do something about it… And that once he was gone and out of the picture… Maybe then you’d notice me and how much I love and adore you”

Shane didn’t move the entire time Nicky spoke. He wasn’t sure he could remember how to. His mouth and brain had somehow stopped communicating, leaving him unable to move, think or speak. He was aware of Nicky’s hand on his arm but he didn’t attempt to move it.

“I’m sorry” Nicky blinked back tears of his own. “I know this is the worst possible time to be telling you this… But you have to believe me when I tell you how much you deserve to be loved… Because I’m looking at you through the eyes of someone who loves you and would do anything to protect you”  
“Nicky…” Shane began. “I… I can’t… That means a lot to me, how much you care but… By all rights, you deserve so much better than me. You deserve someone who doesn’t just sit back and let someone rape them. You need a man who can look after himself and stand up for himself”  
“You never once let him do anything to you… You did what you had to, to protect yourself. If you had tried to fight him each step of the way, he would have hurt you… You found a way to survive”  
“You make it sound like I adapted to save my life… When in truth, I was just too scared to ask for help. What kind of man does that?”

“Shane” Nicky insisted. He placed his other hand on Shane’s cheek and stared into the younger boy’s eyes. “You listen to me… You have nothing to be ashamed of. It’s all over now and I know that you won’t let this happen ever again. You chose to do something about it. You slipped a key to me and when you knew there was nothing more you could do, you asked for help. Sometimes, you can’t win on your own and there’s no shame in needing help from time to time”   
“Nicky-” 

Knock! Knock! Knock!  
The two singers stared at each other for a moment. Nicky then climbed off the bed and made his way to the door. He reached out and grabbed the doorknob. When he opened it, he wasn’t at all surprised to find Declan out in the hallway.

“He’s here, isn’t he?” Declan asked him.  
Nicky stood his ground, not allowing this poor excuse for a human being attempt to intimidate him.  
“I’m here” Shane’s voice came from inside the room. “It’s okay, Nix. You can let him in”

Nicky reluctantly moved aside and allowed Declan inside. He closed the door but remained beside it; wanting to be ready the second Dec had to leave. The older boy didn’t even look at Nicky. He held Shane’s gaze the whole time.  
“Shay, baby” he began. “I was so worried”  
Nicky held back a snort.  
“I thought you might need some time to calm down… Are you okay? I missed you last night”  
“Dec” Shane began.  
“I’m sorry” Declan cut him off and walked over to the bed. He started to climb onto the mattress but Shane shrank back. “Baby, please? I’m so, so sorry. I… It was a mistake. An awful, terrible mistake. I never should have let it happen… Please, tell me you’re okay?”  
“No, I’m not okay…” tears forming in his eyes. “You tied me to the bed and let one of your friends rape me… Again…”  
“No, no… It wasn’t like that! It was all just meant to be fun… The three of us having a good time… Like last time”  
“I told you last time too… I didn’t want to do it! I begged you… I kept saying No over and over again but you wouldn’t listen to me. When I cried, you told Tristan it meant I was enjoying it. How could I possibly enjoy something like that?”  
“Shay, baby… I love you. You know that… I love you so much that, sometimes, it scares me. I don’t know what I’d ever do without you”

“Without your punching bag, you mean?” Nicky snapped, moving away from the door.  
“Stay out of this Nicky!” Declan warned him as he climbed off the bed. He turned his attention to Nicky.  
“No! Shane is my friend and you’ve been nothing but a reckless, pathetic, criminal, rapist! I hope karma comes around to bite you in the ass and fuck you into next year”  
“You should learn to control your temper and your jealousy, Nicky”  
“No, I’ll yell as loud as I want… And as for jealousy, I can’t believe I was ever jealous of you… You sick bastard. If I had someone as beautiful and sweet and caring as Shane, I would never ever have mistreated him the way you did… Hell, I’d never have to stomach to do half the things you’ve done… And knowing that the one person you did all that to is the least deserving of it…” Nicky paused. “You make me sick”  
“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Nicky”

Declan turned around and looked at Shane once more.  
“Go on, baby” Declan urged him. “Tell him the truth… You still love me. You know I still love you… And how much I need you. How much we need each other…”  
Shane wiped the tears from his eyes but didn’t speak.  
“You have no right to speak to him anymore” Nicky hissed. “I should call the police right now and have you arrested”  
“No, don’t” Shane spoke up. “Please don’t do that Nicky”  
Dec turned and smiled at Shane. The younger boy remembered the first time his lover had smiled at him like that.  
“That’s it, you don’t want me arrested, do you baby?” Declan asked. “Come back to our room, please? Let me show you how sorry I am”  
“It’s too late for that Dec” Shane said to him.  
“Shane?”  
“I think you should just go”  
“No, not like this!”  
“Please Dec? Just leave”

The older boy attempted to grab Shane’s hand but the singer pulled way. Nicky made to stop him. Declan then turned on Nicky and punched him. The blonde stumbled but regained his footing. He stood up, his full height not even close to Declan’s. He then returned the older boy’s punch. Shane was on his feet in an instant and managed to intercept them, ceasing their actions.  
“Stop it, both of you” Shane insisted.

“Baby, please?” Declan whispered. He reached out for Shane but the brunette backed away, moving closer to Nicky. “I have to have you back”  
“Not this time, Dec” Shane said, his voice wavering. “If you leave now, I won’t call the police and no one will ever have to know what you did to me”  
“Shane!” Nicky gasped. He couldn’t believe Shane would allow that to happen.  
“I mean it” Shane said, his eyes focused on Declan’s. “Go now and I… I won’t…. As long as I don’t see you again…”   
“Shay-”  
“Go… Please?”

Tears were streaming down Shane’s face as he pleaded with his former lover. The older boy tried to stare him down but Shane was holding on. The brunette took another step back and reached out for Nicky’s hand. He felt Nicky’s hand close over his and was able to draw on the strength his band mate offered him.

“Come back to me, Shane” Declan said. This time his voice was hard, almost commanding.  
“No” Shane replied. “Not this time”

“You heard him, Dec” Nicky insisted. “Like he said, leave now and no police”  
Declan stared at the blonde, almost glaringly. Nicky took a step towards him, attempting to direct him towards the door. Dec leaned forward, his lips mere inches from Nicky’s ear.  
“Hope you enjoy sloppy seconds” Declan hissed. “I fucked him in ways you can’t even imagine”  
“I wouldn’t want to imagine them” Nicky replied. 

Nicky released Shane’s hand and followed Declan to the door. As the older boy stepped past him, it was Nicky’s turn to lean in.  
“You’re lucky I don’t fucking kill you” he whispered.   
“He’s always going to remember me… You won’t even compare”  
“I don’t want to be compared to you… I’ll earn his heart and his love, not take it like you did”  
“Love is fucking someone till they cry”  
“No, it’s not”

Nicky pushed the door closed and bolted it then turned around to look at Shane. The brunette was trembling. Nicky hurried across the room and wrapped his arms around his friend.  
“It’s okay” Nicky assured him. “He’s gone now”  
“But for how long?”  
“He won’t be back; he’s too much of a coward for that”  
“You stood up to him”  
“So did you, Shay… I’m proud of you”  
“He really wanted me to go back” Shane whispered.  
“And you said no to him” Nicky replied.  
“I did… Didn’t I?”

The younger boy sounded surprised at himself.  
“Did you really mean what you said? No police?” Nicky asked.  
“I can’t report him, Nix” Shane said. “That would mean coming out and I’m not ready for that”  
“You’re going to let him get away with it?”  
“Like you, Nix… I’m going to hope karma comes back to haunt him”  
“And in the meantime?”  
Shane took a deep breath and looked into Nicky’s eyes.  
“In the meantime, I’m going to need your help… To tell Mark and Kian… And my parents” Shane stated. “I know it’s a lot to ask but I… I know I won’t be able to do it on my own… Will you, please, help me?”  
“You don’t even have to ask, Shay” Nicky replied. “I promise I’ll be by your side from here on out… Until you don’t need me anymore that is”  
“You’re my best friend, Nicky… I’m always going to need you. We’re always going to need each other”  
“I know” Nicky whispered as he gently petted Shane’s back. “I know”


	15. Chapter 15

The two singers sat on the bed, neither one had spoken much since Declan’s departure. Shane was the first to come around. He turned and looked at his band mate.

“You should go down to breakfast” he said.  
“Not without you” Nicky replied.  
“You have to… They’ll be waiting for you”  
“But-”  
“Nicky, I need you to go down there and act like everything’s okay…”  
“But-”  
“Please, Nix? I… I need some time, alone, to… to think”  
“Shay, I don’t want to-”  
“Please? Just go, half an hour is all I’m asking for… I want to tell them myself but not over breakfast… Let them have a few more minutes before they learn the truth”

Nicky reluctantly nodded his head. He knew Shane had a point but he really didn’t want to leave him on his own. The blonde climbed off the bed and went into the bathroom.  
Shane remained on the bed. He wasn’t sure how much time passed but when Nicky emerged, he had showered and changed his clothes.

“I… See you in a bit” Nicky said to him.  
The older boy picked up his wallet and phone then held the phone up for Shane to see. His way off saying ‘call me if you need me’. Shane nodded then Nicky turned and walked towards the door.  
He’s wanted to say more to his friend but wasn’t sure what else was left to say. He knew Shane would still be in a state of shock, given what had happened to him during the past twelve hours. Nicky held back a sigh… Not just the past twelve hours, the past few months. He hated the thought of Shane having to endure all he had.

*-*

When Nicky entered the restaurant, he was surprised not to see Kian and Mark. For a moment, he wondered where they were. The singer walked over to a table and ordered his meal.  
Several minutes later, Mark pulled up a chair beside Nicky and reached for the coffee pot. Nicky took one look at his friend and held back a laugh. His band mate was clearly hung-over.

“Rough night?” Nicky asked him.  
“Fun night… I think” Mark replied.  
“Where’s Kian?”  
“No idea. Shane?”  
“Must be with Dec”  
“Hope everything’s okay there… Dec seemed pretty pissed off last night”  
“Yeah, he did… Didn’t he?”  
“We saw him… About 3, I think”  
“You remember seeing him?”  
“Vaguely… But he wasn’t with Shane”  
“Tristan… He was at the show last night”  
“Oh, yeah”

Mark downed the cup of coffee and eyed off Nicky’s food when the waiter served him. He placed an order for himself then poured another cup off coffee. The brunette saw Nicky’s phone on the table in front of him, the older boy barely took his eyes off it.

“Expecting a call?” Mark asked him.  
“Maybe” Nicky replied.

*-*

Some time after Nicky left, Shane made his way over to the phone. He picked it up and dialed his room number. It rang several times; he was about to hang up when someone answered.

“Hello?” Declan asked. Shane opened his mouth but couldn’t speak.  
“Hello?” Declan said again. “Who is this?”  
“Shane?” he asked.  
“Yeah” Shane managed to choke out.  
“Oh Shay… I was hoping you’d call”  
“Dec-”  
“I’m sorry, baby… Please?”  
“No, Dec” Shane sobbed. “I can’t-”  
“But you called me…”  
“I… I had to… To say goodbye. I…. I meant what I said… a… about the police. You know what you did was wrong but I… I can’t… Won’t report it”  
“Shane-”  
“I let it go on too long… I should have stopped you… Should have left you sooner… But I… I really loved you”  
“I always knew you’d leave me for him”  
“No, that’s not true! Dec, I’m not…”  
“He fancies you”  
“He’s my best friend… He was there for me when you weren’t”  
“Shane, you know I love you”  
“No, I don’t”

The younger boy tightened his grip on the phone and shifted uncomfortably on the bed.  
“I wasn’t strong enough to stand up to you… Even now, I can’t face you because I don’t think I could send you away again. You made sure of that… All those nights you told me I was nothing without you, that I needed you and could never leave you… I loved you with all my heart… And I wanted to believe you loved me too but I was wrong. Did you ever really love me?”  
“I loved the way you made me feel” Declan whispered.  
“You have to stay away from me” Shane said. “And I won’t tell anyone what you did… Mark, Kian, my parents… They’re a given but it won’t go any further than that”  
“Shane-”   
“Please? Just go… And don’t come back”

Shane broke down, tears rolling down his cheeks as he hung up the phone. He then curled up, hugging a pillow to his chest, and continued to cry.

*-*

Nicky had finished eating his breakfast and was contemplating waiting for Mark to finish his or going back to Shane. He looked up and saw Declan walking through the Lobby, suitcase in hand. Without saying a word to Mark, he stood up and walked out of the restaurant. He caught up to the older boy before he reached the door.

“Declan” Nicky greeted him.  
“I’m leaving, okay?” Declan replied.  
“I can see that”  
“I changed my flight… I’ll be out of here in no time”  
“You got off easy here”  
“You think so? I lost him”  
“You expect me to feel sorry for you? You did that to yourself”  
Declan moved towards Nicky, both lads lowering their voices.  
“I feel sorry for you” Declan whispered. “How long do you think it’ll be before he stops thinking of me? Every time you fuck him, you’ll remember that I fucked him first”  
“I have no intention of fucking him” Nicky hissed. “I love him”  
“Keep the USB drive, Nicky” Declan added. “You might learn a few tips on what it is to be a real man”  
“You don’t know what it means to be a man”

Nicky turned on his heel and walked away from Declan. As he walked past the restaurant, Mark emerged. He saw Declan walking out the door and looked at Nicky, slightly confused.  
“Dec’s leaving already?” Mark asked.  
“Guess so” Nicky replied.  
“Without saying goodbye?”

Nicky shrugged his shoulders then pushed open the door to the stairwell. The door swung closed behind him then opened again as Mark entered and began to follow him.

“What’s going on Nicky?” Mark called.  
“Nothing” Nicky replied.  
“Don’t fucking lie to me”  
“What do you want me to say?”  
“The truth! Why is Dec leaving?”  
“He’s obviously got work tomorrow”  
“So? He usually flies out later in the day”  
“Well maybe he changed his mind? Maybe he has plans for tonight?”  
“So why wasn’t Shane at breakfast?”  
“You’d have to ask him”  
“Nicky!”

Mark reached out and grabbed Nicky’s arm. This caused the blonde to stop his ascent. He turned and looked at Mark.  
“Nicky, please?” Mark begged. “What’s going on?”  
“I… I can’t tell you” Nicky replied.  
“Why not?”  
“It… It’s none of our business… Shane will tell you when he’s ready”  
“It’s none of *our* business but Shane’ll tell *me* later? You know what’s going on, don’t you?”  
“Dec and Shane broke up… That’s all I’m saying”  
“Because of you?”  
“No!”

Nicky then turned and kept walking up the stairs. Mark quickly followed him. When they emerged on their floor, Mark went straight to Shane’s room and knocked on the door. When he received no answer, he looked at Nicky.  
The blonde sighed in defeat.

“Don’t push him, Mark” Nicky begged. “Give him some time”  
“Shane’s my friend” Mark replied.  
“I know… But please, don’t ambush him. He’ll come to you and explain when he’s ready… And when he can tell you and Ki at the same time”  
There was something in the way Nicky spoke to him that made Mark see reason. He nodded in understanding then made his way to his own room. 

Nicky waited until Mark had closed the door before making his way to his room. He slipped the key into the lock and went inside. Shane was curled up on the bed, hugging a pillow to his chest. The blonde pushed the door closed then walked over to the bed. He kicked his shoes off and climbed onto the bed. Shane released the pillow and rolled over to look at Nicky.

 

“I called him” Shane confessed.  
“He’s gone” Nicky told him. “I saw him, in the lobby, with his suitcase”  
“I called him” Shane said again, tears in his eyes. “And told him to go… I… I told him to stay away from me because I’m not strong enough to stay away from him”  
“Oh Shay”  
“It’s true, Nix. We both know it”  
“But you were strong enough to stand up to him”  
“I let him get away with it for too long”  
“Not anymore, Shane… You’re free of him now”  
“Physically… But he’s still in my head”

Nicky reached out and wrapped his arms around Shane. The brunette moved closer to his friend and allowed the comfort Nicky offered him.  
“He’ll fade, Shay” Nicky assured him. “The damage will heal”  
“I loved him”  
“I know” Nicky placed a kiss to Shane’s forehead and held him in his arms.  
“You’re too good to me, Nix” Shane said.  
“Because I love you” Nicky replied.

Shane wasn’t sure how to respond to his friend.  
“It’s okay” Nicky said. “Shane, I didn’t mean to throw this at you when I did but it’s out there now. I’m not going to take it back either. You should know how much I love you and how much I care about you. I’ve been wanting to tell you for so long but I couldn’t… And now… Well… Well now you know. I don’t expect you to feel the same way, Shay… Even if things hadn’t gone the way they did with Dec. You’re my best friend and I love you… But I don’t expect you to love me back”

The younger boy reached up and placed his hand on the blonde’s cheek. He used his index finger to wipe a single tear from his friend’s face then gazed into his tear filled eyes. Shane didn’t speak. He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss to Nicky’s lips. Before the blonde could react, Shane had pulled away.  
“I care about you a lot Nicky” Shane said to him. “But my heart still belongs to Dec”  
“I know” Nicky replied.  
“One day, I’ll be able to move on and not think about him but for now… For now, I need to be on my own” Shane paused. “I mean, I can’t be in a relationship… But I… I need your friendship, Nix. I won’t be strong enough to get through this without you”  
“You know I’ll always be here for you, when you need me… And even when you don’t”  
“Thank you”  
“You don’t have to thank me, Shay… Not ever”  
“I know” Shane smiled at Nicky.

“Mark’s asking questions” Nicky said to him. “You’ll have to tell them sooner rather than later”  
“I know” Shane replied.  
“And uh now that Dec’s gone… It’s probably okay for you to go back to your room”  
“Yeah, I suppose it is… Can I shower here first though?”  
“Sure”

Shane moved away from Nicky’s embrace and climbed off the bed. He pulled some clothes from his suitcase then went into the bathroom. Nicky wasn’t sure why his friend felt the need to shower again so soon but he decided not to question him.  
Once the bathroom door closed, Nicky stood up and made his way over to his bag. He pulled out his laptop and turned it on. Then he found the USB drive and plugged it in. He waited until all items had loaded then he selected them all and hit ‘delete’.  
He then passed the time by checking his emails and a few web pages. Before long, Shane had emerged from the bathroom.

“What ya doing?” Shane asked him.  
“Just checking my emails” Nicky replied. “You want to check yours?”  
“Nah”  
Nicky switched it off and put the laptop away.

“I don’t want to go back to my room” Shane told him.  
The power cable slipped from Nicky’s hand but he managed to stop it falling to the ground. He looked at Shane and saw the fear in his friend’s eyes. Nicky stood up and faced the brunette.  
“It’s okay, you don’t have to” Nicky replied. “I just thought you’d… You’d want some space and… And to have some distance from me”  
“No, Nicky… I… I really don’t want to be alone and not… Not in there… Not where they did that to me”  
Nicky closed his eyes in shame. He hadn’t thought of that.  
“Shay, its okay… You can stay here as long as you want and feel comfortable with”  
“I don’t feel uncomfortable around you, Nix… I hope you don’t feel uncomfortable around me?”  
“No. I just… Was trying to be considerate and ended up being insensitive instead”  
Shane smiled at Nicky and quickly hugged his friend.

“I do love you Nicky” Shane whispered to him. “But I’m not ready to love you the way you want me to”  
“I can wait” Nicky replied. “For as long as I have to”

*-*-*-*

For Shane, telling Kian and Mark was almost as hard as telling Nicky. But this time, he had Nicky by his side. The blonde held his hand and Shane drew comfort from his friend’s support. His band mates were understanding and reacted similarly to Nicky. Shane was touched that neither of them judged him. They both hugged him and told him they were there for him.

They had a four day break between shows so Shane flew home to see his parents. Nicky had tried to go with him but Shane had told him no. The brunette felt better once he had his parents support but, afterwards, he was ready to go back to the tour and to carry on. Most importantly, he’d been eager to see Nicky again.  
During the few weeks that passed, Nicky had been true to his word. The blonde stood by him through thick and thin. As the tour progressed and they moved from town to town, Shane continued to share a room with Nicky. He often awoke during the night, suffering from nightmares, and the blonde was always there to calm him down. They never discussed the sleeping arrangements, Nicky didn’t want Shane to leave and Shane was grateful that Nicky was there when he needed him. 

Shane was sitting between Kian and Mark on a plane. He wasn’t even sure where they were going but he knew that Nicky would be there waiting for him. Kian and Mark had both been considerate and didn’t mention Declan in front of Shane. He knew his band mates were friends with Dec but hadn’t asked if that friendship had ended. He knew it wasn’t any of his business, it wasn’t his place to tell Kian and Mark who they could and couldn’t be friends with.

“Was good to go home, huh?” Kian stated.  
“Shhhh” Mark snapped, raising his eyebrows at his blonde friend.  
“Shoot” Kian groaned. “I’m sorry, Shane… I wasn’t thinking”  
“No, it’s okay” Shane replied. “It was good to come home… Even if it was just for a few days”  
“You must miss Nicky”  
“Yeah”  
“We’re happy for you lads” Kian said.  
“What?” Shane asked. “Happy?”  
“You and Nicky… You’re such a great couple. I’m just sorry things were so bad for you before you realized”

Shane blinked in confusion but for some reason, he didn’t attempt to correct Kian. By all rights, he should set the record straight. If Kian and Mark were under the impression he and Nicky were a couple, then he should tell them the truth.  
The brunette was quiet for the remainder of the flight. He thought back over the past few weeks. He and Nicky spent more time together than usual, not just sharing a room but having dinner together a lot. They often had breakfast on their own too, choosing not to join Mark and Kian.  
They had started going to the cinema together, once a week, and enjoyed drinks afterwards. Shane felt a smile creeping upon his lips. His nightmares were becoming less frequent but the few nights leading up to their break, rather than climbing into Nicky’s bed during the night he had taken to falling asleep in it.

Kian’s words rolled around inside his mind for quite some time before the realization dawned on him. He and Nicky *were* a couple. They just hadn’t acknowledged it yet. He had known all along that Nicky loved him and he, despite his lingering feelings for Dec, had always loved Nicky too.  
Shane felt his smile growing until he couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t wait to reach the hotel and tell Nicky!

*

After what felt like hours, the three singers were in a taxi. Shane was nervously fidgeting. Kian and Mark were both aware of it but didn’t say anything. They knew Shane was eager to see Nicky.  
When they reached the hotel, Dave came out to meet them and give them their room assignments. He handed keys to the three of them then escorted them up to their floor.

Shane reached his room and unlocked the door. He hurried inside and tossed his suitcase on the floor. The brunette paused. Both Nicky and his suitcase were suspiciously absent. He stepped back into the hall and called out to Dave.

“Is Nicky not here yet?” Shane asked.  
“He got here a few hours ago” Dave replied. “His room’s next to yours”

Shane felt his heart skip a beat. He walked to Nicky’s room and knocked on the door. Several minutes passed before the door opened and Nicky greeted him. The brunette moved past him and into the room. Neither one of them spoke as they allowed the door to swing closed behind them.  
The younger boy stared at Nicky, at a complete loss for words. He wanted to know why Nicky had suddenly abandoned him.

“How did it go?” Nicky asked him. “With your parent’s and everything?”  
“I already told you on the phone” Shane replied.  
“Shane, what’s wrong?”  
“Why do we have separate rooms?”  
“I… I assumed you didn’t need me anymore… You didn’t want me to go home with you so I… I thought you’d want your own room again”

 

Shane stared at Nicky, unable to form any words. Instead, he moved closer and kissed him. At first, the blonde didn’t react. He was too stunned to move. Then he felt Shane’s arm around his waist and his hand on his neck. Then his body took over. He wrapped his arms around Shane and plunged his tongue into the brunette’s mouth.  
The kiss was desperate and frantic but heartfelt. Shane pulled away and, as he gasped for breath, he stared into Nicky’s eyes. 

“You might think I don’t *need* you anymore” Shane said. “But you’re wrong. I do need you; I want you in my room and in my bed… Because I… I love you, Nicky”  
“Shay-” Nicky began.  
“We’re a couple now, Nicky… We just didn’t see it… I should have let you come home with me but I didn’t. We both went home to our families but I realized that my family wasn’t really complete… Because you weren’t there with me”  
“Shane, I-”  
“I love you, Nicky!”  
“How do I know you’re not just saying this because you’re not ready to be in a room on your own yet?”  
“Look into my eyes, Nicky…”

The blonde did as Shane asked and stared deeply into his eyes. Shane leaned forward and kissed him once more. There was such honesty and vulnerability to the embrace that Nicky felt his heart melting. He returned Shane’s kiss with equal vigor.

“I love you too” Nicky whispered after they parted.  
“Nix,” Shane began. His eyes suddenly filled with uncertainty. “I love you and I want to be with you but I… I’m not ready to be *with* you yet… If you… If that’s…”  
“Shay, I already love you with my heart and my soul… But there’s no hurry for me to love you with my body”  
“Really? You… You’re okay with… With that?”  
“Of course, we’ll make love for the rest of our lives… We just don’t have to start right away”  
“God, I love you so much” Shane whispered. “Thank you… For being so patient with me”  
“Always… I’ll always be patient and I’ll always wait for you” Nicky said. “I love you”

Nicky wrapped his arms around Shane and held him close. He never wanted this moment to end. Shane was his now, he smiled to himself. The brunette no longer believed he was broken. Nicky had always known that had never been true. Shane had never been broken. He’d always been a fighter and he would continue to be. For Nicky would always be by his side, loving him for the rest of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Original publication date (on my now defunct 'All Things Shnicky' site): 1st September 2009


End file.
